Greetings, friendly Twenty-First Century Populace! It is I, Beautiful Bertie, once again.
Today I went to the Maul. There, I was Mauled. I believe you describe this as Truth in Advertising.
In the Maul, I saw a Shop entitled the ‘Hello, Kitty’ Shop.
I once knew a Cat. It never said hello to me.
I once said hello to it, and it bit my nose.
I have no idea why someone would wish to buy such a Kitty. Might someone explain?
Your servant, as ever,
Bertram St. James, Exquisite
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