Retrench!

Don’t you wish you could marry for money?

With the economy faltering, perhaps we can learn some lessons from our heroes and heroines as to how to economize (“Retrench? Retrench! How may I retrench“).

1. Wear the same gown every day. When your gown is threadbare, turn it inside out and start wearing it that way.

2. Throw entertainments inside your home.

3. When venturing out, make just going to town the entertainment. No cost to you! And you might just find a husband, too.

4. Rise with the sun, go to bed with the moon.

5. Pay your servants paltry wages. Threaten them with no references if they complain.

6. Never pay your bills, except gambling debts. Those are debts of honor.

7. Become popular, so you get invited everywhere.

8. “Forget” your reticule when shopping.

9. Start writing a secret newspaper column/illustrating humorous cartoons for extra cash.

10. Take up spying.

11. If you’re a courtesan, threaten to publish your memoirs with names unless the men pay up to keep you silent.

12. Go to sea.

13. Head for India/the West Indies to make your fortune.

What can you think of?

Megan

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