Letter to A Regency Son During Summer

Dear Heir,

Your tutor has gone back to the benighted rural village from which he comes, and he does not return until September. Which means that you have nearly three months of free hours. Mother, however, still has her correspondence, her visits to the poor, her sewing, her planning on dinner parties and general running of the household.

Mother does not get any months off from her life.

Not that she is envious, or anything.

Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of what you could do to occupy your time during the summer months. Please refer to this list before demanding to know what I have planned for you on any particular day.

Go fishing, either on our property or our neighbor’s.
If it is our neighbor’s, make sure the neighbor does not know. Until you fall in and need rescue from the neighbor’s equal-aged daughter.

Make sure to knock all equal-aged girls out of trees, mock their lack of sports ability, pull on their pigtails and generally do things to ensure they a) hate you now and b) will love you later.

Go for long walks where you dream of what you could do if you were not the heir.

Indulge in your scientific obsession, especially if you plan on becoming an intense reserved man in the future. Woman you end up with will be fascinated with your preoccupation and knowledge, not to mention passion.

Speaking of passion, steer clear of those maids who have a come-hither look. You will either a) have a miserable experience that will taint your life or b) end up being a father. Perhaps both. Either way, not so good.

Spend hours thinking of ways in which I am the ideal, or not ideal, mother against whom you will compare all other women.

Please feel free to add to this list, as needed; your younger brothers will soon have their own books, and will need other diversions from which to draw inspiration.

Love,

Mother

What else could my heir do this summer? What are your kids up to?

Megan

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