Happy Birthday, a joke and a PRIZE

What is a Risky Regency? Who writes Risky Regencies? What are the challenges, pitfalls, and benefits of writing Risky Regencies?

And so began the Risky Regencies in August, 2005. At that point the lineup was Amanda, Elena, Megan, and me, plus Cara King (now writing YA–or what? Tell us, Cara), Laurie Bishop (now writing contemporaries–calling Laurie, where are you now?).

Megan and I talked about starting a blog when we were at the RWA National conference in Reno, NV in 2005 since we both had books coming out around the same time, and the others came on board too.

I met Elena at the airport waiting for a cab (a very frustrating experience since we could see the hotel but not get to it–Reno is not a place designed for walking. It is a place designed for gambling, period). We had a long discussion about sex and Regencies.

That was a pretty interesting conference for me, my first book about to come out, after a couple of years trying to sell a Golden Heart final ms. that no one wanted, and having my first meeting with my agent. Also I felt stoned the entire time at Reno and it was because extra oxygen was pumped into the hotel (to encourage reckless behavior?) which is why I told my agent-to-be this joke and she still signed me on:

What is the difference between an alligator?
“?”
An alligator swims in the water and walks on the land. Now, what is the difference between a shark?
“?”
A shark doesn’t have a difference. It only swims. What is the difference between a shark and an alligator?
“?”
An alligator has a difference and a shark doesn’t.

Yeah, I know. If you want to see some authentic Regency jokes, go to the joke section at Prints George (a great place to buy reproduction prints) and don’t blame me if you think they’re disgusting.

Four years is a long time for a blog to survive and we couldn’t have done it without you. It’s been wonderful seeing our traffic increase and making new friends.

So, the PRIZE. A $25 Amazon gift certificate, and to be entered for it, tell us your favorite joke; or tell us how long you’ve followed us and how you found us, which sort of posts you enjoy, and what you’d like to see more of. The winner will be announced at the end of the month.

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40 Responses to Happy Birthday, a joke and a PRIZE

  1. Jane Austen says:

    My favorite joke:

    What do you get when you cross ten pigs with ten deer?
    A hundred sows and bucks (100 thousands bucks). Get it?

    I’ve been following the Riskies for almost a year. I like the variety of the posting most. It’s not the same thing every day, which is nice.

    It’s been great getting to know all of you.

  2. jcp says:

    I found this blog through the Romantic Times message boards.

  3. Congrats on your birhtday ladies! I try to stop by when I can or when I get a reminder from Janet.

    Love your blog!

  4. Jane Austen, truly appalling joke, don’t call us, we’ll call you… Hi JCP, you shrinking violet, you. And hi Chris, see you tonight! Christie Kelley is speaking at MRW tonight, http://www.marylandromancewriters.org. Oops, she’s not announced on the site (aargh!) but yes, she will be there…

  5. cheryl c says:

    Happy birthday, Riskies! I have been stopping by here for a couple of years. I love the historical tidbits and the guest authors.

    Wishing you many more years of blogging, writing, and reading!

  6. Diane Gaston says:

    After that joke about alligators, you have the AUDACITY to call Jane Austen’s joke appalling. (hee hee)

    A joke I used to tell my mother incessantly as a child was:
    Q “Why did the little moron (this was before political correctness)tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?”
    A “He didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.”

    (I can hear the groans….)

    I love our Risky Regencies blog. I’ll do my birthday stuff on Monday.

  7. Lois says:

    Ah, hmm, jokes, I don’t think I have any! LOL Hmm, well, do I get points taken off if I post something like, why did the chicken cross the road? πŸ˜‰

    But I also haven’t a clue when I started visiting this place everyday. It’s definitely been a while, so it’s closer to the beginning of it than not, but couldn’t tell you who, what, when, where or why! LOL πŸ™‚

    But as they say, first sign of old age is the old memory and all that stuff. πŸ™‚ But here’s to many more years that I can forget how long I’ve been stopping on in for! πŸ™‚

    Lois

  8. ValerieL says:

    I started following the Riskies when Signet was still publishing traditional Regencies (and still lament their loss). I can also state that I introduced Jane Austen to this site (Hi, Jane, no way could I follow your joke) and I’ve been able to stay informed on many of my favorite authors and meet many new ones thanks to the Riskies. Happy Birthday and many more!

  9. Jane Austen says:

    Okay this joke won an award in Scotland:

    “Hedgehogs….why can’t they just share the hedge?”

    Definitely worse than the hundred sows and bucks.

  10. Jane George says:

    I heard Gandhi was rather frail, rarely wore shoes, and had almost supernatural insight as well as bad breath.

    That makes him a super fragile calloused mystic plagued with halitosis.

    I wandered over here a long time ago from The Word Wenches, I think. πŸ™‚

  11. Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: Fish.

  12. Virginia says:

    A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY RISKY’S

    I am not sure how lone I have been following this blog a year maybe two. It is one of my favorite one’s to visit. I found the blog just by surfing the internet for book blogs. Thanks for sharing everything with us over the years and my you have many more birthdays.

  13. Margay says:

    Well, I can’t remember how long I’ve been following you, but has been quite some time now. I found you while doing research on the Regency and that is the kind of article I like: fun and informative, like you always do.
    Margay

  14. Jane says:

    Happy Birthday, Riskies. I’ve been following you for about two years. One of my favorite jokes:
    What did the egg say to the boiling water?
    “How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago.”

  15. Jane George says:

    Oh my.
    I think Jane has topped Prinny’s Joke Bin.

  16. penney says:

    Happy birthday everyone!
    When my now 15 year old was in the hospital last year for tests they let me stay over night with her and the nurses on the night ward were telling jokes here are 2 we thought were good.

    “Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he’s invisible.” The doctor says, “Tell him I can’t see him!”

    A chemist walks into a pharmacy and says, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?” The pharmacist asks, “You mean aspirin?” “That’s it, I can never remember the word.”

  17. Lorraine says:

    My grandfather’s favorite joke:

    A young man went to a dance, where he danced with girls. To the first, he said “What a lovely perfume you’re wearing.”

    She said, “It’s rose, and my name is Rose, too.”

    To the second girl, he said, “What a lovely perfume you’re wearing.”

    She said, “It’s jasmine, and my name is Jasmine, too.”

    The third girl said to him, “My name is Fanny.”

    He said, “I know.”

    I’ve been reading for just over a year, and love it, especially when you talk about the business of getting a manuscript published.

  18. M. says:

    Four years is a long time to be going strong as a grog. I forget when I started dropping by (or how I even found you) but I drop by most days now, even if I don’t always comment. Great to see new regular contributors, though I also miss the previous ones (Cara and Mr. Cara always made me laugh).

    Here’s a joke I told my then-fiance, sort of as a funny warning:

    “To prove his love for her, he climbed the highest mountain, crossed the widest desert, and smam the deepest lake. But she divorced him anyway. He was never home.”

    BTW – I loved the surrealist joke above.

  19. Beth Elliott says:

    Happy birthday, Riskies, I do enjoy your blog. I found it through another Regency blog.

    My joke is what you’d expect from a French teacher..
    Q. What would you be if you fell off the Eiffel Tower?

    A. Insane. [ in Seine]

    [slinks away]

  20. Cara King says:

    Happy Birthday, Riskies! Sorry I missed the beginning of the festivities, but I’ve been out and about and away from my keyboard… (And dealing with ailing relatives, ailing computers, wildfires, etc…) But I’m here now, and celebrating!

    Yep, Janet, I’m still writing YA… And still trying to figure out the limits between “literary” and “commercial” (and “literary with commercial appeal”) in the YA and middle-grade worlds…

    BTW, Janet, I love the difference joke! And JA, I love the hedgehog joke! (I’ll go tell it to Bertie the Beau…he has a weird obsession with hedgehogs…)

    M, thanks for the kind words! I’ll also pass them on to Mr Cara… πŸ™‚

    Cara

  21. MariElle says:

    Haven’t been part of RR for long but do enjoy you gals.
    Here’s my joke:

    MONASTERY CALLIGRAPHY MISTAKE …..

    A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

    He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

    So, the new monk goes to the head Abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

    The Abbot says, β€œWe have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”

    The old Abbot goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn’t been opened for hundreds of years.

    Hours go by and nobody sees the old Abbot.

    So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He finds him banging his head against the wall and wailing:
    β€œWe missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!”

    His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is sobbing uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old Abbot, β€œWhat’s wrong, father?”

    With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies, β€œThe word was…

    ‘celebRate!!!’ ”

  22. Judy says:

    One of my all time favorites was a cartoon I cut from the paper. A woman was chatting with her friend: “My psychiatrist told me I needed a stable relationship, so I bought a horse.”

    Yep, I had one for five years, and there’s nothing quite like 1,000 lb of therapy every day. When you start the day shoveling out a stall every day, you realize not much worse can happen the rest of the day. πŸ™‚

    Happy Birthday Riskies! Here’s to many, many more. I’ve been visiting for about two years, thanks to our own Diane pointing me this way.

    I love the Bertie!! I also enjoy the visiting writers, travel adventures, and history tidbits.

  23. Amy Kathryn says:

    Happy Birthday! I have been following for a couple of months now. I wandered over after reading a blurb for and winning a copy of Diamands of Welbourne Manor at another blog.

    I really can’t tell a joke…it is a painful think to watch, read, or hear!

  24. As an anniversary gift, O Risky Ones, I shall let you gaze with admiration at my picture.

    There. What an honour. I am certain you all vibrate with gratitude.

    Now for my witticism:

    What was born two centuries ago, but is more youthful and beautiful today than ever?

    I will leave it to your perspicacious minds to deduce the answer…

    yrs,

    Bertie the Beau

  25. I went out to my local chapter meeting and came home to all these comments and some truly dreadful jokes–how nice to see you lurkers coming out of your woodwork as well as many of our regulars! And what a treat to hear from Bertie who has not graced our pages in a while. Where’s Todd, Cara?

    Fish you all very much for visiting.

  26. Just got in from work and I have to say the jokes brightened my day. And the Riskies always brighten my day! I started following the blog a couple of years ago and I think I received my first invitation from The Divine One. I may not comment every day, but I definitely read the blog every day and I have even printed a number of them because the material is just too good not to do so!

    I wish the Riskies many, many more years on the blogosphere !

    Hmm. Jokes.

    A Cajun husband and wife tried for a long time to have a child. Finally their son arrived. He was perfect in every way. As he grew older there was only one problem. He never said a word. Year after year passed and still their child didn’t speak. They despaired of ever hearing his voice at all.

    One morning the now ten year old boy came down to breakfast. He sat down at the table, looked at his plate and said :

    “This toast is burnt.”

    His parents were stunned. They laughed, they cried. They hugged him and fell to their knees praising God. Finally the father asked :

    “Son, all these years you’ve never said a word. Why didn’t you say anything before?”

    “Up to now, everything’s been okay.”

  27. Two brothers were getting ready to go to school. The older brother said “You know. I think it’s about time we started cussing.” The little brother said “Okay. How do we do it?”
    “Well, I’ll use ‘damn’ and you use ‘ass,’ how about that?”

    The little brother agreed and they went down to breakfast. Their mother asked the older brother “What do you want for breakfast, son?”

    He looked at his younger brother and grinned. “I’d like some damned pancakes.”

    Mama smacked him so hard he fell out of his chair. She picked him up and dragged him to his room and said “You just wait until your father gets home.”

    She came back to the kitchen to find the younger boy looking up at her wide-eyed.

    Hands on her hips she asked “And what do you want for breakfast?”

    He said “I don’t know, but you can bet your ass I won’t be asking for any damned pancakes.”

  28. Patricia Barraclough says:

    Happy Birthday, Ladies!
    I am new to your site, having discovered it about a week ago. I’ve only been searching sites for a few months. I found you through a link from another historical fiction blog. Word Wenches maybe? Have been enjoying reading everyones article about their research.
    I did pop over to Prints George. Their jokes are terrible. I don’t have any to pass along.
    Hope you have many more successful years.

  29. robynl says:

    A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver’s window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, “Pull over!” at the top of his lungs. “No!” the blonde yelled back, “Scarf!”

    *I’m a blonde* and I’ve been coming here for a couple of years.

  30. One more – an animal joke.

    A burglar broke into a house in the middle of the night. Dressed in black he moved from room to room and gathered the valuables in a large sack. Everything was going great until he heard a disembodied voice say “Jesus is going to get you.” He paused looked around into the darkness, didn’t see anything so he moved to the next room. Sure enough he heard it again. “Jesus is going to get you.” He moved downstairs into the living room and started to unhook the DVD player. He heard it again. “Jesus is going to get you.” He couldn’t stand it and even at the risk of turning on his flashlight he had to find out what was going on. He flicked on his flashlight and panned it around the room. Sitting in a corner was a huge birdcage and in it was a big macaw. About that time the bird said “Jesus is going to get you.”
    The burglar laughed and turned off his flashlight and headed toward the door. He had his hand on the doorknob when he heard a low deep growl behind him. Directly behind him. He turned on the flashlight to reveal the biggest doberman he had ever seen in his life. About that time the bird said “Sic ’em, Jesus.”

  31. One more – an animal joke.

    A burglar broke into a house in the middle of the night. Dressed in black he moved from room to room and gathered the valuables in a large sack. Everything was going great until he heard a disembodied voice say “Jesus is going to get you.” He paused looked around into the darkness, didn’t see anything so he moved to the next room. Sure enough he heard it again. “Jesus is going to get you.” He moved downstairs into the living room and started to unhook the DVD player. He heard it again. “Jesus is going to get you.” He couldn’t stand it and even at the risk of turning on his flashlight he had to find out what was going on. He flicked on his flashlight and panned it around the room. Sitting in a corner was a huge birdcage and in it was a big macaw. About that time the bird said “Jesus is going to get you.”
    The burglar laughed and turned off his flashlight and headed toward the door. He had his hand on the doorknob when he heard a low deep growl behind him. Directly behind him. He turned on the flashlight to reveal the biggest doberman he had ever seen in his life. About that time the bird said “Sic ’em, Jesus.”

  32. I have no jokes, only admiration and birthday wishes for the Riskies. I discovered the wonders of Romancelandia on the Internet in 2006, and I’m pretty sure I found you shortly thereafter. I got here either through History Hoydens or the Word Wenches, I believe.Your recipe for success seems to be working. Keep it up. One never knows what one will read about next!

  33. Mystica says:

    I came here through another blog on Austen and just love it. I will be definitely visiting again.

    Mystica

  34. Elena Greene says:

    Well, it’s not precisely a joke, but… Before my husband had his stroke, if he stumbled he would say “rented feet”. Then during physical therapy he stumbled and with the speech aphasia, what came out was “rented lips.” The therapist and I cracked up. Now he says it on purpose to make us smile.

  35. Diane Gaston says:

    These jokes are terrific!!!!

    Elena, I love it that your husband now says “rented lips” on purpose. How great and healing to have a sense of humor!

    Which is a common denominator in Risky Regencies, I think. We can be serious, but mostly we just have fun. I think that’s part of what I love about us.

  36. CrystalGB says:

    Happy Birthday Riskies! I found your site through Diane Gaston’s website. I have been following for a long time.

  37. Elena, your hubby is my hero! What a great line. I’m going to remember that and the courage it takes to laugh through adversity!

  38. Hello & Greetings.

    In memory of my dad, who is failing quickly (nothing like a jolly joke set-up):

    My favorite quickie of his (to be sung liltingly), “She was only a horseman’s daughter, but all the horsemen knew her.”

  39. Todd says:

    M wrote:

    Great to see new regular contributors, though I also miss the previous ones (Cara and Mr. Cara always made me laugh).

    Janet wrote:

    Where’s Todd, Cara?

    Gosh! It’s sweet of people to remember me. Sorry I haven’t been around–I will try to look in from time to time.

    Someone mentioned “surreal jokes,” and that reminded me of one from my old collection of lightbulb jokes:

    “Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: Three: one to paint the zebra blue, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine parts.”

    Happy Birthday, Riskies!

    Todd-who-often-wonders:-is-Big-Sur-real-or-is-it-surreal-and-in-either-case-is-it-real-big-sir?

  40. Carol L. says:

    Happy Birthday Riskies. I guess it’s been about a year that I’ve been following. And truthfully I can’t remember how I found you. But I am glad did. :)I wish you many more years here and I think it’s been great, meting so many new Authors, learning so much History etc. Thanks Riskies.
    Carol L.
    Lucky4750@aol.com

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