Top Ten Things I Learned From Romance

Yes. There will indeed be Ten Top Things, but before we get there, here’s some blatant self promotion for the release next week of Mr Bishop and the Actress:
A CONTEST!
And here’s the cover. Isn’t it pretty! You have two ways to enter: go to my Facebook page, read the excerpt and then share it and post me the link on the comments. And/or, sign up for my mailing list here.
THE PRIZE
Your choice of a book from my backlist (with the exclusion of Dedication, which is selling for ridiculous prices online and which will support me in my imminent old age. Sorry).

Although the official release date is February 4, those naughty scamps at bookdepository.com have Mr Bishop & the Actress on sale now–free shipping worldwide!

And now back to our regularly scheduled program….

Last week I talked about the challenges of writing contemporaries. This week I want to tell you what I’ve learned from reading (some of) them.

It is a fact universally acknowledged that…

  1. You can qualify as a doctor within one year.
  2. If you’re teaching English at college level and feel like a change of pace you can avoid all that agonizing search committee stuff by calling a friend because he’ll have an opening in the department.
  3. If a single woman moves to a small town there will always be a hot, single sheriff/bartender/mechanic/rancher. Occasionally there’s a squad of white-collar single hot guys too.
  4. If a white single woman moves to a small town there will be no other ethnic groups there.
  5. If a black single woman moves to a small town there will be no other ethnic groups there.
  6. Most heroes are mysteriously rich (but not through illegal means) and their flair for interior design does not impugn their masculinity.
  7. If the hero tells the cops the heroine has been kidnapped, they immediately spring into action, even if it’s just a hunch (and to give them credit, she’s never just gone out to the convenience store. He’s right).
  8. A voluptuous heroine is a size 10 (US). Ha.
  9. If a heroine loses ten pounds she immediately has to go shopping with her best friend for a new wardrobe.
  10. And the final and most exciting one: All heroes wear boxers except for cowboys who apparently can’t risk all that fabric bunching up around their manly bits in the saddle and wear jockeys. It’s the law.

The great thing about this is that it makes the Regency view of history seem well, almost realistic. Twenty hot rich single thirty-year-old dukes in London at one time? Why not?

What have you learned from reading romance?

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