Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Buy My Book

The book is The Malorie Phoenix and to save time you don’t have to read the rest of the post but you can go here for to buy for Nook and here for Kindle.

    1. There is a villain called E****! No kidding (I think you can guess a villain-type name). Not a spoiler, he’s so obviously up to no good from his first oily manifestation on the page, when he oozes his way into the heroine’s life with a Nefarious Scheme.
    2. H/h first have sex by fireworks in Vauxhall Gardens.
    3. There’s a secret baby!
    4. I narrowly escaped yet another sex in the maze scene later in the book, when, realizing I had one in both Dedication and A Most Lamentable Comedy, I hurriedly rewrote it to be sex in the stable. With horses watching. As you know, the use of sex scenes in mazes is rigidly administered by the Regency Police and I am licensed for only two every five years. Too late I remembered some heavy breathing in the presence of a horse in Improper Relations.
    5. (Yes, I’m cross-selling)
    6. There’s an awesome book trailer, for which CPE Bach very kindly composed the music:

  • There is a super awesome tagline: She plays a deadly game but nothing is as dangerous as love.
  • The hero has one of the best-ever names in Romancelandia–Benedict de Malorie, Earl of Trevisan. I just love those vaguely Frenchified “we came over with the Normans” type names.
  • But there’s another character in the book called Evelina Stanley who was named in honor of my friend’s late golden retriever mix (whose name was Stanley, not Evelina. The dog, not the friend). The heroine is called Jenny.
  • … and finally–THE CLINCHER, LET’S MAKE A DEAL–this is my cheapest book ever! $3.99! Go for it.

 

If you are a genuine blogger or reviewer you can request a review copy from NetGalley.

Would you like to win a copy of The Malorie Phoenix? Give me your reasons why you are qualified to win (although as usual the random.org thing will apply): did you have a hamster named Stanley? A haddock named Edwin? An exciting experience in a maze? I will give away two copies and announce the winners on Friday evening at about 10 pm, so you must either leave a neutered version of your email address or make sure you check in then.

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12 Responses to Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Buy My Book

  1. CrystalGB says:

    My husband’s name is Stanley. πŸ™‚ Your book sounds great.
    Crystal816[at]hotmail[dot]com

  2. Unknown says:

    my married name is Stanley!

    And you had me at sex and fireworks.

    sarah[dot]kates[at]gmail[dot]come

  3. Anonymous says:

    I have a pet duck called Gobbles πŸ™‚

  4. Excellent reasons, ladies. Keep them coming. I have to ask, though, Anonymous, did you name your tiny fluffy baby bird Gobbles before you realized he was a duck and not a turkey>

  5. Karen D says:

    Your book sounds awesome! (A little flattery to smooth my way. And to get me more points…) I’ve seen a Stanley Steemer commercial. I always thought it was Stanley Steamer because, you know, they steam clean your carpet, but apparently I thought wrong. Or they missed a great opportunity.

    krdobbins[at]comcast[dot]net

  6. Terry Parrish says:

    Well, the only reason I have is because I want to read this book. None other than that. Although, now that I think of it, my great uncles first name was Stanley. Hmm, close enough?

    TerryParrish2010(at)hotmail(dot)(com)

  7. Diane Gaston says:

    Well, I HAVE to buy the book. Cuz your a Risky. Seriously, I think this one sounds great!

  8. I must tell you all before I go to bed that Stanley the dog ate his owner’s xmas present one year. It was a watch, wrapped and under the tree, and we think Stanley was attracted to the leather strap, but he ate the lot with no ill effects.

  9. Dee says:

    Well, I would simply love to win because I enjoy everything you write and I have outspent my book allowance for the next two months (so must wait to purchase). *cough, strong hint, cough :)* The only pet hamster I had was named the highly inspired name of Fluffy. Of course when all of her hair fell out then it was actually wittily ironic. Do people have pet haddocks?

  10. Barbara E. says:

    I’m qualified to win because I love to read books and The Malorie Phoenix is a book. And because we’re mentioning pets, even though I didn’t have one named Stanley or Edwin, I did have a turtle named Terry – I chose a multi-purpose name because I didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl. πŸ˜€ Also, when I was a child we had a duck named Wilber, and then he began laying eggs so we discovered it wasn’t a particularly appropriate name. πŸ˜€

    Barbed1951 at aol dot com

  11. Dee, the pet haddock thing is (I think) a quote from Monty Python. It’s the sketch where John Cleese goes to the post office to buy a license for his fish. Sorry to hear about Fluffy the bald hamster.

    Barbara, another pet duck! I’ve heard they have real personality but that may only be in comparison with chickens.

  12. Karen says:

    I WISH I could say that I deserve to win because I’ve had sex in a maze…or a stable…

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