Anything but writing,  Frivolity,  Jane Austen

Me & Dennis–a very close relationship

I want to share with you all some news.

Dennis and I are together again.

Yes, Dennis the kneebrace.

m+wWe have been on and off since I indulged in some extreme gardening a few years ago. Having fallen flat on my back while ripping up English ivy, it was–oh my gosh, it was like Marianne and Willoughby in better weather. With his assistance I could stand and he flung me onto the back of his stallion and rode with me back to safety, me nestled in the comfort of his warm cloak, inhaling his masculine woodsy scent of lime and tobacco and beer and all that. Well, sort of. I’m a bit nervous of sniffing Dennis after the very hot weather where you sweat in strange places, like the back of the knee.

And since then, he has answered my call. Except for the time he didn’t and I fell into a decline. I decided then I’d go with the first substitute I met, and in the pharmacy I met a sneering billionaire kneebrace who wanted to strap me up good and proper and restrain me in fifty shades of whatever. Consequently I now have an Upstairs Dennis and a Downstairs Dennis.

Most recently we took a fabulous trip to San Francisco and together we strode through the city and sat around for hours in coffee shops writing. I’m not even sure my lovely hosts were aware that I brought Dennis and not my husband. We were very discreet.

And after that trip, things sort of cooled off.

But this morning, feeling the pangs of unrequited love (pangs at any rate), I took Upstairs Dennis out of the dirty laundry basket, reveling in the clean masculine smell of his sweat (or more likely my own) and got it on.

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Liz Harris
Liz Harris
9 years ago

I have a similar relationship with my boyfriend, the space heater. He is always there for me and is so hot! In the winter, we’re always in the same room, usually cuddled up close. His warmth is unparalleled and I happily fall asleep each night basking in his glow. In the summer, not so much. Currently, he is sulking in the garage. I’m sure we’ll rekindle our romance come December, though.

Jo's Daughter
Jo's Daughter
9 years ago

Humor is the best medicine in the world Janet! Thanks for making me laugh 🙂

9 years ago

One of the signs of aging is that the spirit may be willing but the flesh is weak. I too had my version of Dennis when I broke my foot, not to mention Roderick, for my trigger finger, and Lucien, for my plantar fasciitis. My husband has shown much forebearance as these new men of steel (and plastic, although that it not quite Regency-appropriate) have come into my life.

Elena Greene
9 years ago

Hope your fling with Dennis is sweet, satisfying, and brief.

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