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I love outtakes and bloopers. When the mess-in-progress is not cooperating, I need a good laugh. It also helps to remind me that other creative people make mistakes, too.

Surfing around on Youtube, I found some good bloopers from the 1995 Pride & Prejudice and the 2006 Jane Eyre.  Note that horses play a major role in each set.

As to bloopers in romance novels, some that I remember are also horse-related. The mare that turned into a gelding in the course of a ride. The phaeton, a type of 4-wheeled carriage, that turned into a curricle, which has two wheels. (Admitted, a lot of readers wouldn’t know that.) The funniest blooper I can recall is where the hero referred to his “bullocks” instead of “bollocks”.

This is what copy editors are for, but they do miss stuff sometimes.

Ditto for cover artists. You may already have heard of the legendary cover for Christina Dodd’s 1993 release, Castles in the Air.  The rest of the story is here on her website.

dodd

As for bloopers I’ve made, I hope most were caught by me or my critique partners, like the scene where a gun mysteriously jumped from one character’s hands to another’s. I’d accidentally deleted the sentence with the handover. Another sort-of blooper is a sex scene in which I had the hero remove most of the heroine’s clothing, except I forgot about her boots. Once I realized, I let it be. Maybe that’s how they wanted it.

What are some of your favorite bloopers, whether on film or in books?

Elena
www.elenagreene.com

Posted in Reading, TV and Film, Writing | Tagged | 6 Replies
david-beckham-nude-026

New for 2012. Gratuitous use of photos of scantily clad men online may incur a penalty. Please consult your hot tax advisor, fireman, cop, or male stripper for more information. Or, call the IRS and request a “special” phone call. They’ll know what you mean. It happens all the time.

A couple of years ago I posted information on Schedule OMG.HEA, and here’s the updated version for  2012. Remember, just like the contemporary hero with his well-stocked wallet, there’s nothing like being ready.

Turn to the Subgenre Definition pages beginning on page 17 and pick your subgenre. You may pick only one. If you write in a variety of subgenres, choose 21, Indecisive wallower, 22, Overachiever, or 23, I’m just a girl who can’t say no. Enter in Box A.

Take your zip code, divide it by the number of pages completed in your WIP and enter the number in Box B.

On the following lines enter the following numbers from the first fifty pages of the book:

  1. Times your h/h have sex. If you are writing an inspirational, you should enter 10.
  2. Times your h/h have sex with another person(s) or being(s) (including, but not limited to, shapeshifters) and multiply by five. If you are writing an inspirational, you should enter 50.
  3. Heroic hair-raking within the first fifty pages.
  4. Mentions of hero’s eye/hair color.
  5. Mentions of heroine’s eye/hair color. Note: if colors for 2 or 3 change, please refer to Publication CE.AA.2012.

Enter your total for Box B.

Note: If your score is less than 2, please make sure you are writing within the correct genre. Refer to Publication WTF.2012 for more guidance and complete the appropriate Genre Form.

Now turn to your most recently published work. Enter its ISBN, page count, and predominant font family used on the cover in Box C.

Please check the appropriate box if your cover contains the following:

  1. Historically inaccurate shirt.
  2. Mullet.
  3. Green or blue eyeshadow (hero or heroine).
  4. Chandelier with lightbulbs instead of candles.
  5. Physically impossible stance.

Write the total number of checked boxes on the next line. On the following lines:

  1. Instances of egregious photoshop art, add 10 for each.
  2. *Extra nipples, limbs or digits (hero or heroine), multiply each by 10 and enter.
  3. Glaring typo on your back cover blurb, enter 20.
  4. Mantitty, enter 50.

* Unless you are writing paranormal romance and this is purely representative.

Enter your total for Box C.

If your cover art contains none of the above, please refer to Publication WTF.2012 as you may be writing a different genre.

The totals for Boxes B and C, plus the ages of your children and/or pets and your agent’s and editors’ heights in centimeters.
Multiply by 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375
Multiply by 10 to make a nice big fat number and round off to the nearest thousand. This is your estimated tax for 2010.

Please feel free to share your tax expertise with the rest of us. It’s never too early.

Posted in Frivolity | 2 Replies

It’s spring break, so I’ve been in Florida visiting family.  I’m supposed to be enjoying the break—and I am, to a degree. But what non-writers (everyone in my family except my daughters, who write fan fic) can’t understand is that what I’d really like best is quiet time to write.  So I smile and go along with the planned activities, and I don’t tell them that there’s a part of me that’s eager to get back to cold and dreary upstate New York so I can write.

I’m finally getting close to the end of the balloonist story (current working title The Height of Desire).  It’s not the best time to take a break, because this is a time when there’s a risk of something Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, calls creative U-turns, i.e. fear-induced backsliding just at the point of a creative breakthrough.

Click to view daily statistics

The good thing is that I’ve been writing long enough to recognize when I’m tempted to do a creative U-turn. The other thing I’ve found is that telling friends my plans can help me stay on track. So friends, this is my plan:

– I will finish this version of the story by the end of April.

– I will go on a writing retreat during the first weekend in May with my writer buddies at a house on Cayuga Lake. There I will do a deep, thoughtful review of the whole thing and very likely a lot of rewriting and polishing.

– Then it’s off to my critique partners, and probably another round of revision and polishing. Meanwhile I can start thinking about cover art. J

Wish me luck.  What challenges are you facing? What helps to keep you from backsliding?

Elena
www.elenagreene.com

Posted in Writing | Tagged | 3 Replies

carriageI was down much of this week due to a stomach bug, but I’ve had a great time catching up today.  What an interesting week we’ve had at the Riskies!

Diane started out with Real Research? a discussion of whether it’s OK to base one’s research on that of popular authors in your genre. Then Amanda posted on Real Things (objects from Jane Austen’s life), Carolyn posted an Interview with Susan Broadwater of the Regency Library and Janet brought us the fascinating story of Anne Lister in Same Sex Marriage, 1834.

Diane’s original post reminded me of a recent writers’ loop discussion of historical accuracy. Some people were shocked when I put forward my belief that HISTORICAL ACCURACY IS NOT IMPORTANT when it comes to having a successful career writing Regency era romance.

I’ve read enough bestsellers, RITA finalists and even RITA winners in the genre that include errors of title usage, people traveling from London to Cornwall in the matter of a few hours, horses galloping for hundreds of miles without dropping dead, etc… to know this is true. Their popularity proves that there are vast numbers of romance readers out there who don’t care much about such things.

I don’t even mean this as a criticism of these authors. Not at all. Their popularity proves that they are consummate professionals. They are providing good entertainment for their loyal readers, they are supporting themselves, putting their kids through college, etc… All things I want to do. And they’re doing it by writing good STORIES.

The lesson I take away is that the story (in this case, the romance) comes first.

Does this mean I don’t research any more? Not at all, for several reasons. First, why annoy the smaller percentage of readers who are knowledgeable enough to be annoyed by things that can be checked relatively easily?

But the main reason I research is because it’s part of my process. It helps ME write MY stories. I have never gotten reader mail complimenting me on my meticulous research (and heck, I make mistakes too). But I have gotten mail and reviews saying my stories were a bit different, in a good way.

The point is, research inspires me.

I’m feeling more inspired this week, having added some books to my TBR list and resolved to subscribe to the Regency Library!

What inspires you?

Elena
www.elenagreene.com

220px-Lister_anneCutting curl papers half an hour … Arranging & putting away my last year’s letters. Looked over & burnt several very old ones from indifferent people … Burnt … Mr Montagu’s farewell verses that no trace of any man’s admiration may remain. It is not meet for me. I love, & only love, the fairer sex & thus beloved by them in turn, my heart revolts from any other love than theirs…

Could not sleep last night. Dozing, hot & disturbed … a violent longing for a female companion came over me. Never remember feeling it so painfully before … It was absolute pain to me.

I recently stumbled across an amazing piece of history, the story of Anne Lister of Yorkshire (1791-1840), whose life represents a fascinating alternate history of the Regency. She kept a diary for most of her life which chronicles not only her experiences as a female landowner but also very  intimate details of her personal life, coded in a combination of Greek and algebraic symbols. codeddiarysampleIt’s been described as “the Rosetta stone of lesbian history.”

The BBC made a film of her life in 2010, The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister and there’s a documentary about her which you can find on YouTube, created and narrated by the smart and witty Sue Perkins of the SuperSizers.

shibden-hall-in-halifaxHer father was an army captain, a member of a well-established gentry family who lived near Halifax. The only girl in the family, Anne revealed herself as a tomboy, intellectually precocious, smart, able to fence with her brothers and play the flute–“Zorro meets James Galway,” as Sue Perkins describes her. She was sent away to a boarding school in York in 1804 where her overwhelming presence proved so disturbing to the other girls that she was banished to an attic room. There she acquired a roomie, another misfit, the illegitimate daughter of a nabob and an Indian woman, Eliza Raine. They embarked on a passionate love affair, with an exchange of rings and poetry. Now the circumstances weren’t that unusual in an era where men and women were pretty much segregated, and sentimental friendships between young women were common, if not encouraged. But the authorities discovered the phsyical aspects of the relationship, and expelled Anne. Poor Eliza, as the friendship and correspondence faded, fell into a decline and was sent to a lunatic asylum in 1816 where she lived until her death at age 68.

Anne, back in Halifax, embarked upon a predatory sexual career, probably doing most of her cruising at “the one floozy hotspot where she knew the local lovelies would come in droves” (Sue Perkins)–church. Of course most of the local girls would be extraordinarily flattered to attract the notice of the Queen Bee of the neighborhood, even if they ultimately got more than tea and cakes. Anne’s first affair was with Elizabeth Brown, the daughter of a tradesman. Anne, a real snob, post-conquest noted in her diaries that Elizabeth was dirty and distinctly beneath her socially. (Doesn’t this remind you of Emma taking on–and dropping–Harriet Smith?)

But in 1813 Anne met Marianna Belcombe, who was slightly higher up the social scale, the daughter of a doctor. After some time Marianna married for money (and why not? Anne wasn’t offering to support her).  Despite her initial feelings of betrayal, Anne continued their relationship, this time with the frisson of adultery (which technically it wasn’t). But after ten years, Marianna dumped her, telling her that gossip about Anne’s increasingly masculine appearance was becoming embarrassing.

This was not news to Anne.

The people generally remark, as I pass along, how much I am like a man. At the top of Cunnery Lane, three men said as usual, ‘That’s a man’ & one asked ‘Does your c*ck stand?’

But it seems that she also enjoyed her male characteristics, particularly in the thrill of chase and conquest. She liked compliant, pretty women: and, like many of her male counterparts, treated her partners shabbily.

There was a dramatic change in Anne’s life in 1826 when she inherited Shibden House and 400 acres of land. Now she was a force to be reckoned with, one of the elite, and absolutely independent. But she was threatened by the nouveau riche in the area, Halifax being at the heart of industrial expansion. She needed cash. Heck, she needed a wife. And she found one a few miles away, a Miss Ann Walker who was also an heiress. York,_Holy_Trinity_Church,_Goodramgate_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1115416In 1834 the two women attended Mass at Goodramgate Church in York, followed by a blessing from the clergyman which they felt sanctified their union. They now considered themselves married, and Ann moved into Shibden where they shared their wealth.

Anne then made a venture into coal mining, one of the best ways for a landowner to get rich, by opening the Walker Mine (aaw). The captains of industry were not amused, in particular one Christopher Rawson, a distant relative of Ann, and a local magistrate. He incited a mob in Halifax to burn the two women in effigy. Was it homophobia or just outrage at an uppity woman (which Anne certainly was)? But Anne got the last laugh. She opened another coal mine, undercut Rawson on prices and forced him to back down.

Anne was a remarkable if not always likeable woman. She was the first woman to be elected to the committee of the Halifax branch of the Literary and Philosophical Society, and a bluestocking who knew Latin, Greek, and geometry. She managed her lands herself and built schools for her tenants. (So in some respects she would have been an excellent romance heroine. Apart from the lesbian thing.)

In addition she traveled widely abroad, visiting not only tourist spots but also factories, prisons, orphanages, farms, and mines. 800px-Lister_graveShe also visited the famous Ladies of Llangollen. So it’s sad that on one of her jaunts abroad to Russia in 1839 she died of something quite minor–probably a tick or flea bite–and poor Ann, who outlived her by many decades–brought her body home for burial.

Her diaries–some 26 volumes, over 4 million words, with an index (which surely indicates Anne left them for posterity)–were hidden in Shibden Hall. They were discovered and translated in the 1890s by an indirect descendant, John Lister. But he was advised to hide them once again. During that period, when homosexuality was a crime and the theory that it was hereditary was developed, the revelation of the diaries might have damaged John Lister, who was gay. They were discovered  again in the 1930s, when the British censors had their knickers in a twist about Radclyffe Hall’s The Well of Loneliness–again, not a good time for Anne to posthumously come out.

whitbreadA local historian ran across them again in the 1960s but the town of Halifax, who now owned the diaries, refused permission to publish. Finally, in 1988, Helena Whitbread decoded them and published them–and sadly, her book is now out of print!

I find the life of Anne Lister fascinating. It certainly made me wonder about other relationships of the era–those sentimental friendships, the companions, the friends sharing beds. I also wonder how women without her advantages, of birth and wealth would have fared in a similar relationship. Most middle class women had no choice but to marry–as Amanda Vickery says in Sue Perkins’ documentary, in this period “the ultimate aphrodisiac was the length of a man’s rent roll.”

Had you heard of Anne Lister? Do you have any favorite characters who represent alternate or queer history?

Posted in Research | 10 Replies
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