Check the date. Yeah. Today is Wednesday, November 4. Uh huh. Perhaps you don’t recall, but my book was due November 1. I may have mentioned that a couple of times.
About now you’ve clicked away or else are glued to your screen wondering what happened.
Did she do it? Was she like Awesome Amanda (who actually turned her book in early? Or was she Merely Mortal Carolyn, turning her book in on time?
Or did something terrible happen involving tearful crying over the phone to her agent?
By the way, The awesome Nalini Singh answers Important Questions over at my blog where you could win one of her books. Please check it out.
Oh, and did you-all remember the time change? Because most of the U.S. had to Fall Back at 2:00 a.m. on Sunday November 1, the day my book was due. To be honest, I didn’t stay up for the big event. No, at 2:00 a.m., I was fast asleep in a sugary dream fueled by a great deal of Halloween candy.
Because, as you must know, the day before November 1 (the day my book was due) is October 31, which is Halloween. Any parent knows that this is one of the Three Big Non-Birthday Occasions no parent dares mess up. Two of the days involve bunnies and reindeer, respectively. Which means, in case you still need coffee, that the day before my book was due, my evening was previously engaged.
Yes, the tension is certainly mounting.
What happened?
We go to my brother’s house for Halloween because we live in the boonies and he lives in an area known for its holiday extravagance. My brother does this awesome haunted house that at key portions of the evening has a line out to the sidewalk.
Anyway, some fool put me in charge of handing out candy. It’s a complicated job involving taste testing, admiring costumes, directing haunted house traffic, advising young kids and teen boys (to mess with their minds) that there is a No Scare version of the Haunted House. There’s a lot of standing involved since we set up a table and a cauldron in front of the house, which means, I’m sure you’ve guessed, that the person handing out the candy (me!) has to keep her strength up by searching out the Whoppers, Baby Ruths and Junior Mints to make sure they taste good.
They did. With every batch. There is also a great deal of skill involved in making it look like you’re giving out gobs of bad-for-your-teeth-sweetie candy while not actually dropping the whole handful into the waiting bag. This is necessary because the kids often come by in batches of 20 or more. And the Haunted House draws them to us like flies. Over 500 kids served!
Here is an actual conversation that took place the night before my book was due.
Me: No, the Haunted House line is over there (pointing boy in correct direction)
Boy dressed as um, something: (He is 8 or 9) Is this where you come out?
Me: No. Nobody comes out of the Haunted House.
BDAUS: Why not?
Me: It’s haunted. A few make it out. Most don’t. (Pointing to large glass jar next to cauldren, which contains floating fingers, eyeballs and shrunken heads) We put the left over bits in here.
BDAUS: Really?
Me: Well, yeah. Were do you think we got all this?
BDAUS: (Eyes get really big)
Me: No. Not really. The line’s over there (pointing). Have some candy and ask for the No Scare version if you’re worried.
As you can see, I am completely perfect for this job.
And I was very relaxed because my book was done.
That was a giggle read! You are perfect for the job 🙂
My birthday is Halloween, I missed out on candy treats as I was born in UK and we never celebrated it.
YEAH on getting the book done! When is it coming out?
I think you missed your vocation. Handing out Halloween treats and advice seems to be your natural forte.
I can just see you talking all serious to that child. Hee! And congrats for finishing the book.
that is awesome! my son is eight and I can just imagine his face 🙂 good job!
LOL on your Halloween and congrats on getting the book done!
Woot! on meeting your deadline.
Sounds like you might have a gift for middle-grade fiction too! 🙂
A pity one can’t include Milk Duds with the finished book, but you’ve given me this great idea for a masquerade ball…
wandering away muttering,
As you can see, I didn’t click away.
I have to say I’m kind of glad that you claim not to have a comedic writer’s voice as that means less competition for reader dollars in the very, very distant day when I might actually be published.
Maybe these things are inverse? Maybe my blog voice will become this historical, dramatic, emotionally intense kind of thing?
Thanks for stopping by everyone!
Megan: oh, I was completely serious in speaking to him.
Patrica R: Oh, how could I have forgotten all the Milk Duds I ate? Glad to know I inspired you.
Carolyn…..you are perverse!!! So glad you are on our team.
Congrats on getting the book done–it gives me hope!
I wanna go to the haunted house!!! And eat Milk Duds, too.
And from now on I’m going to make people call me Awesome Amanda. 🙂
Shame on you. I would have done the same thing, though. Haunted houses can be so much fun if they are not too scary for the little ones going through. We live in the boonies and in 17 years we have had a total of 5 Trick or Treaters. Miss it. The one good point, I don’t buy candy to give out then have to restock because I’ve eaten it all.
Good luck with your new book.