I was supposed to attend a sneak preview of Becoming Jane last night, and I would be reviewing it here today.
But my friend, an editor at Marie Claire, had to cancel, so I ended up watching Yankees baseball. That Derek Jeter . . . but I digress.
[I was interviewed for an upcoming feature in MC about on-the-job romance. I was the only woman who was in a superior position to her love interest, since my now husband was my intern. I’ll let you know when it’s out].
Which means I’ve got nothing to talk about today. Except for change; can you imagine being a young, country-reared girl of 17, being taken to the Big City to make her debut? How chaotic! No wonder so many of them panicked and ran off to meet swashbuckling sea captains and the like. And, of course, it would be a big change in terms of perception–as the scion of the county’s leading family (or at least among the top 5), it must’ve been hard to arrive in London and find yourself jostling for attention with duke’s daughters, earl’s first cousins, and ridiculously wealthy businessmen’s children trying to buy their way into the aristocracy. And you, a lowly baron’s daughter or something.
In some ways, it is similar to going off to college at the same age; unless you stuck close to home, chances are you went away for a long period of time for the very first time in your life. What happened to you? I was miserably homesick, read all the time and spoke very little (my roommate, who remains a close friend to this day, used to introduce me to people telling them I was mute. She is very talkative.)
Of course, eventually I embraced college life, not least because I was in New York City. What about you? What was the biggest change in your maturation? How was adjusting to college life for you? Did you ever attend anything similar to a coming-out ball?
Megan
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I think I’ve got a few “biggies”:
Being an only child till 12 and then suddenly having to deal with a baby in the house.
Going all the way cross country to college (which I loved, got me away from that first baby and the one that followed four years later!).
Going to grad school and getting my first apartment.
The last one I think was the big one for me. It as the wow, I’m really on my own moment (we were required to live in the dorms all four years as undergrads). Living all by myself for that first year was a bit daunting . . .
No deb balls for me, thankfully! I think we established from your “wallflower” post that I am of that variety. 🙂 (Though I do enjoy parties where I can stand in the corner with friends and make fun of other peoples’ clothes, LOL)
I loved going away to college! Even though it was a huge place, I was able to find my “niche”, make friends, take obscure classes. And, oddly, being away from my mother made me get along with her better. 🙂
And my first RWA conference was a biggie, too. I was scared to death at first, but ended up having a fabulous time!
I’m normally not an arse woman but Jeter has the best butt in Baseball 😉
As for me, I loved college from day 1. I’ve never suffered from homesickness, for whatever reason, so I didn’t have that to contend with!
Cara
I was never a debutante but my best friend from high school did participate in a coming-out ball. She lived on an Army base and, for whatever reason, daughters of officers could be in this debutante ball. I participated peripherally, not living there at the time, but I heard all about it. She met her first husband there, a young army lieutenant, who promptly had to go off to Vietnam–they never really had a chance to get to know each other–a lot like our Regency couples, I imagine. At least my friend was able to be divorced and move on to a happier life, unlike our poor Regency deb, whose choice for a husband might have been unwise.
When I went off to college I went first to a small all-women’s college and thus was in a more constrained atmosphere than I’d ever had at home. But it was exactly what I needed to make the transition from my family to an independent me. The next year, my roommate and I transferred to Ohio University, the same university that Susan Elizabeth Phillips attended.
I grew up in a small, very cliquish town, so going away to a biggish college in a big city nearly 1000 miles from home was one of the best things that ever happened to me. While there are things I love about my childhood environment, I’ve been a city girl ever since. I’ve never considered going back, and I’m baffled by all those romances where the girl who got out of her small town and found success in NYC or San Francisco or wherever has to discover that she was wrong all along, and that True Love and Sincere, Good People are found in her hometown.
I loved college, but in hindsight I can see I made some immature mistakes–and not the usual ones. I was a very, VERY Good Girl. If I had it to do over again, I’d sow a few wild oats in moderation…only college students aren’t so good at being moderate, so maybe it’s just as well I lived the life that I did.
The other big transition/maturation point for me was when I went to England for a year when I was 26. In the four preceding years, I’d been clinging to my college experience and college friends as much as I could, since it was the first place I’d been happy and made lots of friends. Going to England was a way to strike out on my own and figure out who I was when I was by myself. And, as it happened, I met my husband there (he’s another American who was part of the same program, or I’d probably be in England to this day).
Megan, are you sure you’re not secretly married to my cousin? He was an intern for his now-wife, and they all live in Brooklyn with their kids. And she wears black. 🙂
I loved college, and my old college roommates are still among the best friends I ever had. It was a bit of a change to go from sleepwalking through all my classes to having to work late into the night, but I adapted well enough.
As a teacher at some elite-ish schools, though, I’ve frequently observed kids who were used to being the best and brightest in their high schools, until they arrived at college, found they were just part of the pack, and promptly crashed and burned. It’s kind of painful to watch. But most of them managed to pick themselves up and move on.
Todd-who-swears-it-wasn’t-his-teaching-that-was-to-blame
Megan, gosh, you’re famous. May I shake your hand in Dallas? I promise I won’t wash it.
Why?
1. A sneak preview of Becoming Jane
2.My friend, an editor at Marie Claire
3. I was interviewed for an upcoming feature in Marie Claire
Did you ever attend anything similar to a coming-out ball?
Well, there was always the circus….
(Hey, just realized. That included an on the job romance too.)
Thanks for the comments, guys, sorry I got too busy with Dad’s visit, laundry, and house shenanigans to comment more.
Todd, maybe I am your cousin! Who knows? Although I have very few of them.
Keira, not famous, just happen to be in NYC and married to my schmoozy husband.
Suisan, your on-the-job romance sounds more exotic than mine, for sure.