Greetings! I, Bertie the Beau, hope you are all in the midst of enjoying your End-Week.
I have some more Questions for you. I do hope someone here can help me with them.
1) Why do Waiters (who are called this, I surmise, for the simple reason that they make one wait for them) clean the table, which one never touches (unless one is a very irritating small child) (that, by the by, is an example of Redundancy), but not the seats, which are inevitably covered with bits of food and rubbish, which then ruin one’s clothing?
2) If a Bat-Man is a man resembling a Bat, and a Spider-Man is a man resembling a Spider, then what precisely is a Door-Man? A Cow-Boy? A Soccer-Mom?
3) If Peter Petrelli (one of the Beautiful People on the Tele-Vision Entertainment entitled “Heroes”) possesses the power of Invulnerability, how did he get his Scar?
And does it make him look more handsome, or less?
As always, I look forward with delight to your answers about modern life — which, although they do not always lessen my confusion, never fail to bring me much amusement.
Your Humble Servant, and always Exquisite,
Bertram St. James
Bertie! I do believe you have stumped our readership. Here it is Sunday and no one has answered your questions. I have not the wit to do them justice (where is Todd when you need him?)
I can answer number 3 in part. Yes, Peter Petrelli’s scar make him look more handsome.
By the way, a friend of yours will be on the Tele-vision tonight. Beau Brummell will air on BBC America at 8 pm and 11 pm tonight!
Thank you for answering my missive, Milady Perkins!
And thank you again, for letting me know about the Tele-Vision Programme about Beau Brummell, my (much older, of course) predecessor in Elegance. I will watch it with great interest.
Yr Obt Svt,
Bertie the Beau
1) Come to think of it, I do remember seeing some waiters clean the seats, but I’m sure not in all the places I ever been to. . . well, my guess is that because the food is supposed to stay on the table and not the seat, you don’t want germs on the food. Something like that. 🙂
2) Well. . . Door-Man? Not really sure, too poor to afford one. 😉 A Cow-Boy? another really cute guy in romances A Soccer-Mom? someone who needs an extra special lunch out on Mother’s Day. 🙂
3) Well, I don’t watch it, so I don’t really know, but probably yep, it’s supposed to make him look more handsome.
And alas, I don’t have that channel, so I’ll have to watch for the DVD or something. But that Beau Brummel looks mighty fine. 🙂
Lois
Well, g’day to you, Bertie. And we do appreciate your writing to us here.
1. To answer your first question, well, I guess, it might be the same reason they don’t sweep the floor as often and you always step into something gooey. As Lois said, food isn’t supposed to end up on the seat or the floor. (Probably one of the rules taught in a Waiters 101 course.) So in reality, if it does end up in either of the two places, well, that’s hardly anything the waiters can do anything about now, can they?
2. In our country, we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway. Go figure. And for more of the same, I’d suggest reading any book by Richard Lederer, most especially Crazy English.
3. Er, yes. Scars anywhere on the body, including the face, are supposed to make the man look more interesting, more daring/heroic, more masculine, and one who has lived more in his life so far. (The last bit isn’t a Zen statement, it’s just that this man is older and wiser than his age would otherwise indicate.)
Bertie, you wouldn’t happen to have a scar or two, now would you?
Diane wrote:
Here it is Sunday and no one has answered your questions. I have not the wit to do them justice (where is Todd when you need him?)
Now I will have to wallow in guilt for at least the next three-quarters of an hour! Plus an extra thirty-minute penalty because my responses won’t be all that witty.
Why do Waiters clean the table, which one never touches, but not the seats, which are inevitably covered with bits of food and rubbish, which then ruin one’s clothing?
There are two obvious answers: a) unconscious hostility, due to having been forced to eat strained beets as a small child (which any thinking person would spit up), and b) they receive kick-backs from the local dry cleaners.
If Peter Petrelli possesses the power of Invulnerability, how did he get his Scar? And does it make him look more handsome, or less?
Your second question answers your first. Yes, the scar makes him look more handsome (in a raffish, psychopathic kind of way), which is why he didn’t bother to heal it. He needed something new once his hair was no longer floppy.
Todd-who-still-has-a-good-hour-of-wallowing-to-go
Scars anywhere on the body, including the face, are supposed to make the man look more interesting, more daring/heroic, more masculine
Thank you for enlightening me, Milady Soleore! (And thank you as well to Mlle. Lois and M. Todd.) I do sometimes find the female mind quite indecipherable, so I greatly appreciate your help.
Bertie, you wouldn’t happen to have a scar or two, now would you?
Ever so sorry to disappoint you, but my face and form are quite perfect.
Bertie, ever beau
1 and two have me stumped but, as for Future Peter…most likely the Haitian “turned off” his abilities when the scar was inflicted and perhaps kept them off long enough that his body would no longer recognize the new damage to heal.
I’m sure you’re right, Anonymous! I don’t actually recall if I even knew what the Haitian’s power was when I originally asked that question…so good to know that the writers had a plan for it all along!
(Oh, um, ahem…I see that Bertie actually asked the question. Well, I wanted to know, too, so that’s why I thought I’d asked it.) 🙂
Cara