Hello!
Bertie the Beau (our resident Regency time-traveling exquisite) and I watched the season finale of Heroes last night, and Bertie just can’t stop talking about it!
So I thought — why not have an online discussion with him, to see what a Regency dandy thinks about superheroes?
Luckily for me, he agreed.
Hi, Bertie! Thanks for joining us!
Delighted to be here! Thank you for the tea.
You’re very welcome! So, Bertie — what did you think of Heroes last night? Did it fulfill your expectations?
Oh, I found it fascinating. But I do wish there hadn’t been quite so much fighting. Firearms, swords, fists — I did wish it would stop!
Oh — did the violence bother you?
Bother me? Oh, no. I quite like violence.
You…like violence? (Should I be worrying about this? Are you going to start having melees in my living room?)
Goodness, nothing of the sort. When I say I like violence, I mean I enjoy watching things such as prize-fighting (the science, the agile movements, the beautiful bodies) and fencing (the sheer poetry of motion).
So…what part of the fighting in Heroes didn’t you like?
They got all messy. It was highly displeasing!
The characters in Heroes should look dapper, like this:
Ah, yes. Such a nice coat. And I do like the hair.
Precisely! That is what heroes should look like.
Not with their hair all over the place, and dust and dirt and whatnot randomly sprinkled about, like this:
Now I ask you: is that attractive?
Well, as that is the villain, I don’t think he’s supposed to be attractive.
Nonsense. Everyone should be attractive. (Particularly the villains. After all, isn’t it said that villains should be rounded characters, and not all bad? That’s a subtle way of saying they should be handsome and well-dressed. And definitely clean.)
Hmm… I fear we’ve gotten off the subject. (You do have a wonderful way of leading the conversation into unexpected paths.) So I’ll just finish by asking: if you could have one superhero power, what would you have? The ability to always be elegant, or never get dirty?
Ahem. I already have those powers.
Oh, yes, sorry. I knew that. So, what would your power be?
I would most like the ability to render all animals around me (particularly cats) magnetic, so that if they shed their fur, it still sticks to them, and never touches my coat.
Lovely. (Though I’m not sure you’ll be invited into the Justice League anytime soon. That’s not exactly a power to rescue people with, is it?)
Oh, very well. I will specify that my power will affect all cats everywhere on the globe — and I will so beautify the world that I will be hailed the most superb of all super heroes.
Thanks for joining us today, Bertie!
My pleasure. (And yours, too, of course.)
Cara
OH, my goodness!! I’m am simply laughing out loud. Dearest Bertie, your true power is the gift of laughter, and it’s pretty powerful. I certainly appreciate it, today. Thank you so much for popping in. What a delight. 😉
ooooo, next week could we interview Berrtie about the finale of Dancing with the Stars???
Thank you so much for your kind words, Milady Judy T! I am always delighted to be a delight.
And Mme Perkins — thank you for the invitation to talk about the finale of Dancing With the Stars, but I confess I did not see it. (I do not watch very much — what is it called? Scientifiction? Except occasionally Battle Star Galactic.)
yrs,
Bertie
Bertie, ’tis always fun when you stop by.
The question for you is: Can you dance? Elegantly, with finesse and agility?
Bertie said, “My pleasure. (And yours, too, of course.)”
Cara, you better watch out for this smooth talkin’ feller.
I’m not familiar with Heroes but this post makes me curious. Dear Bertie, are you familiar with the classic superheroes, Superman, Batman, Spidey, etc…, and if so, what do you think of them?
Oh, besides Superman and the like. . . I’d love to know his opinion on my childhood favorite Wonder Woman. . . 😉
Lois, who wanted to be WW, but alas, never got why she’d never want to wear that outfit when she got older. LOL
LOL, Lois! I also harbored a childhood dream of being Wonder Woman. I even had a pair of bracelets and a belt like hers (not to mention WW Underoos, LOL). But my mother put a stop to that dream when I fell over and cut my head open trying to spin into being WW, like on the show. Sigh. 🙂
All that violence, and nastiness. Terrible. And that was just “The Bachelor” and “American Idol”…
Rob
Bertie, the part that still boggles my mind is something you mentioned last week — you have a hedgehog acting as your valet????
What do you pay him???
Cara
Cara, you better watch out for this smooth talkin’ feller.
True, Keira — if he turned his eye my way, his looks (and charm) might lure me into something (like cooking him breakfast?), but his eye is usually looking at the television nowadays. Or in the mirror. 🙂
(Or, I presume, at that hedgehog, to whom I still have not been introduced! Bertie, can you say “figment”??)
BTW, I was way into Wonder Woman too! Amanda, I never ran into your falling-down problem, though, because I read the comic book first, and she uses a lasso in the comic book. 😉
(Of course, I could have easily knocked myself over with a lasso if I had had one — but I didn’t.)
I used to invent super-heroes — I had an older brother and we were very into superheroes, so I knew what you needed to think up to have a complete superhero: a name, a power, and a brightly-colored costume. 🙂
When we played in the sprinklers with the kid across the street, we were a family of superheroes who had some sort of watery powers: Water Whiz Kid, Water Whiz Kid Jr, and Water Whiz Girl. (Heavily inspired by Captain Marvel and his lot!)
Cara
Bertie, ’tis always fun when you stop by.
Delighted to hear it, Milady Soleore!
The question for you is: Can you dance? Elegantly, with finesse and agility?
But of course! I excell at country-dances, quadrilles, waltzes, reels — everything but minuets. (Detestable old-fashioned dance — no true follower of fashion would ever dance one.)
And I must say, if Mme King had ever mentioned that there was a Tele-Vision Programme on about elegant ballroom dancing, I definitely would have watched it.
Dear Bertie, are you familiar with the classic superheroes, Superman, Batman, Spidey, etc…, and if so, what do you think of them?
Ah! Thank you for the question, Milady Greene! I did see the Super-Man Picture last summer. And that Super-Man had flawless hair. Though his sartorial taste left something to be desired. Handsome fellow, too — such a shame.
And I have, more recently, seen a Cinematic installment of the Spider-Man series. It was a little confusing, but I did enjoy it very much.
In it, Spider-Man is embraced by a very not-clean-looking black tarry substance, which (for some reason) suddenly started making him care about how he dressed, and gave him the ability to dance and be charming. I thought it quite tragic when he threw away the tarry elegance — and then came the confusing part, for it turned Eddy Brock not into an elegant dancing fellow, but into an ugly monster.
But I enjoyed it anyway. (Though that Kirsten Mary Jane person really ought to try brushing her hair sometime. Might do wonders for her looks. As might a smile. But I digress.)
Yrs, as ever,
Bertie the Beau
And I must say, if Mme King had ever mentioned that there was a Tele-Vision Programme on about elegant ballroom dancing, I definitely would have watched it.
You know how to read, Bertie dear. And I showed you where we keep the TV Guide. Don’t blame me! 🙂
BTW, if you’re interested in superheroes, you might check out my DVDs of the X-Men movies. (Though I’m sure you’ll find Wolverine to be sadly unshaven.)
Cara
All that violence, and nastiness. Terrible. And that was just “The Bachelor” and “American Idol”…
You notice, though, Rob, that there’s never actually been any hair-pulling on American Idol?
That’s cuz they wear wigs. 🙂
Cara
I’d love to know his opinion on my childhood favorite Wonder Woman
I have not yet read or seen about her, Milady Lois! Is she elegant? Beautiful? Able to swing from a web?
Yours in curiosity,
Bertie
I think one’s choice of a super power says something about one. And your choice, Bertie, says volumes about you! 🙂 Bertie, the cat magnetizer!
At the moment I would like to have the power to sit through academic seminars without falling asleep. Jet lag–nasty thing.
Todd-who-is-typing-this-in-his-sleep
Hmm. . . how to describe her. . . ah, well. . . okay, I’m not much of a describer. And it depends on the version you’re talking about (to me, some look vastly more X rated than others LOL) Here’s a pic. . .
http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Lynda-Carter—Wonder-Woman-Photograph-C10101726.jpeg
Oh wait, I do believe you have heard of Amazons. She’s one. 🙂 She has brains, she has strength, and love the truth telling magic lasso! 🙂
Lois
Oh! Good Heavens, Milady Lois, what a combination this Wonder Woman is! a very comely lady — who forgot to get dressed — who also forgot to comb her hair.
Oh, is that a circus costume? I do love the boots. (Is she French? That could account for the skimpiness of clothes — I do believe circus performers in France wear very little.)
However, I have seen a lasso before, and I cannot believe that that is a lasso — surely it’s far, far too small? In fact, it looks more like one of my favorite clever inventions of your century — Dentic Floss.
I do like the truth-telling properties, though. I would force all the other exquisites to admit that I am the most exquisite of all.
Yr Obt Svt,
Bertie the Beau