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Quick writers guide through history

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I’m contemplating a change of subgenre and thought I’d share with you my thoughts on what I find (1)attractive (2) unattractive about each period. So here goes.

Romans.
1. Much nudity. Men with big swords.
2. Public unisex toilets, cheek-to-cheek. Think of the meet-cute. “I’m sorry, is that your sponge?”

Dark Ages
1. The stuff of legends e.g., Camelot. Men with big swords.
2. Filth and misery. No public toilets at all, private ones dubious.

Medieval
1. Castles. Men with big swords.
2. Filth and misery. No public toilets at all, private ones dubious. Child marriages.

Elizabethan
1. Silks, lace, velvet, swashbuckling stuff. Men with big swords.
2. Filth and misery. One known (official) public toilet on London Bridge, private ones dubious. Child marriages. Elizabeth I.

Civil War/Restoration
1. Silks, lace, velvet, swashbuckling stuff. Sieges. Men with long hair and big swords.
2. Filth and misery. One known (official) public toilet on London Bridge, private ones dubious. Plague.

Eighteenth Century
1. Silks, lace, velvet, swashbuckling stuff. Men with high heels and smaller swords.
2. Filth and misery, wigs, and you don’t even want to ask about the toilets.

Regency
1. Cotton, linen, wool, elegance, manners, some indoor plumbing. Men with tight pants, swordsticks, vinaigrettes.
2. Filth and misery, repression.

Victorian
1. None that I can think of other than infrastructure and some indoor plumbing.
2. Filth and misery, repression, and everything else.

Edwardian
1. Nice clothes for women. Indoor plumbing. Men with big walking sticks.
2. Filth and misery, repression, World War I looms ahead.

No wonder we writers have to reinvent history.

Your ideas?

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Historical Ninjas?

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Please don’t ask me why I was searching Google Books for references to ninja between 1795 and 1820. Just accept that I was and that I was expecting there to be close to zero results.

But below, is the first of two pages of results.

The examiner: Volume 9 – Page 127

Leigh Hunt – 1819 – Free Google eBook – Read

… or ngninst whose return, a Petition is depending, or of a Member who is sixty years of age, (suppose he wishes to be excused), such name, is set aside, and another is drawn to supply his place until forty-ninja be selected. …

books.google.com – More editions – Add to My Library▼ – In My Library: Change▼

►

Holy moly! Forty NINJAS? That’s no lone ninja a long way from home. That’s an invasion! DURING THE REGENCY! How could we not know about this?

(Because they are ninjas, that’s why.)

So, of course I clicked. Who wouldn’t? I mean ninjas in England in 1819 and they’re all acting like, hey, let’s keep picking until we have an attack force of FORTY of these motherf*ckers. Napoleon would be toast if, uh, he weren’t already.

Alas, the reality was disappointing to say the least.

But if among these names is that of a Member who given a vote in the election complained of or who is a Petitioner or ngninst whose return a Petition depending or of a Member who is sixty years of suppose he wishes to be excused such name is set and another is drawn to supply his place until forty be selected When the forty nine are complete the or his Agent names a Member and the

All the rest were foreign language results. Those Romans, Germans and Italian-post-Latin speakers! Always the fake ninjas.

Kind of disappointing. So. Help me out here.

Your Task

You command the Ninja attack force in London, 1815. What do you do with them? Or, alternatively, provide a snippet of Regency Ninja Lore.

Like, A Regency Ninja is thought to have infiltrated Almack’s, assassinated six debutantes and eleven Regency Bucks in pink waiscoats and vanished after spiking the orgeat with sake.

Or something.

Comment away.

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The Healthy Author

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So how was everyone’s Valentine’s Day?? I ran into one of the usual V-Day perils–having to wait 2 hours for a table even with a reservation! Luckily I had some cute new pink ankle-strap shoes and lots of good people-watching (plus a protein bar in my purse!) so all went well.

And I have to send out thanks to Michelle Willingham for sending me this link to Cataromance’s Reviewer’s Choice Awards, which named To Catch a Rogue one of their favorites of the year. Happy Valentine’s Day to me!

And in weather news here–the snow is finally GONE (for now, anyway), and the temp is in the 60s and 70s this week. But for a couple of weeks I was pretty much stuck in the house, and for a few days I basically sat around eating potato chips, taking naps, and reading stuff I downloaded to my Kindle. Then I started to feel pretty yucky, and I realized it was because I had missed my exercise. I’ve always been allergic to anything that feels like “exercise”–maybe it’s flashbacks to the hell that was middle school PE class. I will run on the treadmill when I have to, or even take a spin class if I’m feeling especially ambitious, but I prefer things that feel more like fun, like dance. And I absolutely swear by yoga. When I make it to class at least 3 times a week, I feel calmer, more energetic, and more creative, and my jeans fit better. It also helps me avoid the dreaded Writer’s Butt Syndrome.

Writing is an entirely sedentary job. When I’m close to a deadline, my muscles start to ache, I feel tired, I eat bad stuff, and I start talking to my cats like they know what I’m saying. (I also start shopping online more). Yoga and dance helps me stay flexible and alert–the fees ought to be tax deductible, because they’re a big key to feeling creative and keeping me from falling behind on my schedule. I just have to make myself do it, which is usually easier said than done.

But then there are days when I can’t make it out, and that’s when I break out the exercise DVDs. Here are a few I like:

The Bollywood Dance Workout (so much fun!)

Ballet Conditioning

Yoga Conditioning for Weight Loss

The New York City Ballet Workout (this one is kind of a toughie, but it’s a great workout)

Getting enough sleep, eating right, and meditating are also important for me if I want to stay healthy and get the writing done, especially this time of year when I just want some sunshine, darn it!

What do you do to keep the creativity flowing and stay in shape?? Any tips for fun things to try? (A friend of mine swears by Zumba, which I have yet to try…) And what did you do for Valentine’s Day?

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Happy Valentine’s Day

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Here’s a special Valentine’s Day gift to you. A new Romance blog-and-more from Macmillan Publishing. Heroes and Heartbreakers.com, featuring occasional blog postings by me and several other familiar names, plus short stories and more. This is what Megan has been working on for months. More from her Friday, I’m sure, but take a peek today!

Valentine’s Day as we celebrate today started in Victorian times, but Regency young men did send love-notes and had assistance from The Young Man’s Valentine Writer, published in 1797.

So, in celebration of Valentine’s Day, here are some vintage Valentines and Regency (and Georgian) verses;

My Luve

O my luve is like a red, red rose,
That’s newly sprung in June:
O my luve is like the melodie,
That’s sweetly played in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry

Robert Burns (1794)




Bright Star

Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art —
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like Nature’s patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors —
No — yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow’d upon my fair love’s ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft swell and fall,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever — or else swoon to death.

John Keats (1819)

She Walks In Beauty

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place

Lord Byron (1814)

What is your favorite love poem?

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