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Author Archives: Janet Mullany

… and Contest. As promised, an interview with a vampire and I’ll be giving away signed copies of Jane Austen: Blood Persuasion, to two lucky people chosen at random at midnight EST on Saturday, October 8. You can also win copies at other stops on my blog tour, win a collection of Austen-vamped themed stuff, and find excerpts and so on at my website.

I’m thrilled to have as my guest today Mr. Luke Venning, one of the Damned and a close associate of Jane Austen. (And ladies, he’s hot.)

Luke: Close associate?

Janet: OK. Consort, bearleader, pain in the neck. (Note: there is a Glossary of the Damned on my website and in the book. A Bearleader is the mentor of a fledgling–that is, recent–member of the Damned.)

Luke: But Bearleader in no way implies a paternal or even fraternal relationship.

Janet: Tell us about Jane.

Luke: She was fearless, funny, sharp-tongued, opinionated. By the standards of the Damned she was rather gauche. I found her very handsome–she had the sort of good looks that showed in animation. She looked nothing like the pop-eyed, bad-tempered creature in Cassandra’s famous sketch.

Janet: People were rather cross with you and me about the way Jane and the Damned ended. They wanted a HEA.

Luke: I hardly think anyone will believe you squeezed a HEA out of this book either.

Janet: Do you see yourself in her heroes? Any one in particular?

Luke: She claimed I was all of them although I strongly object to being the worthy clergyman of Mansfield Park. The earlier version of that book was all about the Damned but her brothers persuaded her to change it and so Henry Crawford, who I believe was based on me, played a lesser role. I also find Mr. Darcy and Mr. Knightley stuffed shirts. I think I’m most like Henry Tilney, because that book is set mostly in Bath where we first met and which she started shortly after our liaison.

Janet: I’d say you’re more like Willoughby or Wickham. None of the gentleman you listed have that sleazy side.

Luke: Sleazy side?

Janet: Feeding off maidservants.

Luke: Oh, that. Madam, I am one of the Damned. I am what I am. Jane was a greedy girl; she quite weakened me. I needed sustenance.

Janet: And then you encouraged her to feed–or dine, I should say–from a footman.

Luke: It may have been a tremendous sacrifice on her side–I doubt it from the grin on her face. The poor fellow could scarcely walk after, but he did not seem to object too much.

Janet: Moving on … describe a typical day for the Damned in Jane’s time.

Luke: We rise about two in the afternoon–it is vulgar, although by no means dangerous as some may claim, for the Damned to encounter sunlight. Those from whom we have dined are sent to the kitchen to be revived so they may get on with their work. We pay calls, usually on foot, for animals do not take kindly to the Damned. Occasionally we gather for music with our neighbors although mostly this is as a foreign language to the Damned. Finally we are able to dine–we like to entertain, for our guests make themselves available to us after dinner–and we indulge in cards and dancing. We enjoy the night most, you understand.

Janet: I know Jane enjoyed society, but wasn’t she bored?

Luke: Absolutely; when the dear girl was not depleting my strength, she sulked and fretted somewhat and I was most relieved when she began Mansfield Park. I think she found our conversation lacking.

Janet: I believe you went to the Americas in the 1820s.

Luke: I did. I mostly stayed there for some years–I went west as soon as the continent opened up and I did rather well in gold and silver mining, as well as some other business interests. You understand, of course, that I had to move frequently for generally our kind has not been kindly accepted. It becomes so tiresome having garlic and crucifixes thrust in one’s face (a charming yet useless tradition) and dealing with angry husbands.

Janet: And what are you doing now?

Luke: Ask your blog visitors.

Janet: Good idea. Where do you think Luke is now and what’s he doing? (Note: “waiting for me in my bed” does not count and will disqualify your entry.)

Sorry about this. I thought I’d take a look and see what was up at the Riskies, lateish in the afternoon, and realized it was Thursday, my day to blog. It doesn’t feel like a Thursday, you see. I’m at work…

So here’s a recycled post from a couple years ago which raised some interesting discussions then and might yet do so again. And next week, absolutely new content, I promise–an interview with a vampire.

I spoke at a workshop a few weeks ago with some other historical writers, and when we asked for questions, a woman asked this:

If I’d lived two hundred years ago, what would I be?
Chances are, we told her, you wouldn’t be a member of the aristocracy, or own land or wealth. If you lived in America, more than likely you’d be someone’s property. Adam Hochschild, author of Bury The Chains: Prophets and Rebels in the Fight to Free an Empire’s Slaves calculates that at the beginning of the English abolitionist movement, approximately two-thirds of the world’s population was in some form of slavery or bondage.

So…you’re living in England during the Regency. You’re not Lady Something or the Hon. Miss Something-Else. You’re not even a gentleman’s daughter. You have to earn a living.
If you were born in the country, you might be able to stay there–always assuming you weren’t forced out by foreclosure–or you might seek a job in a mill or factory in one of the rapidly growing industrial cities.

Or, you might go into service. Here’s another amazing statistic: in the eighteenth century, one-third of all the population (with the exception of the aristocracy) was in service at some time in their lives—usually until their mid-twenties. About one-third of London’s population was servants. Some people, working in the houses of the rich, rose in the ranks to enter the servant elite as butler, housekeeper, or lady’s maid; even though this illustration is from the mid-eighteenth century, you can see how well-dressed this lady’s maid is. Servants earned room and board, plus “perks”—for a ladies maid or valet, cast-off clothing they could wear or sell—or “vails,” tips from visitors usually given to footmen. The maidservant illustration is from the mid-nineteenth century, but gives you an idea of what it was like being at the beck and call of a bell, and negotiating stairs in a long skirt, possibly carrying something worse than a tea service. Becoming a servant for a few years gave you upward mobility; hopefully you’d have saved enough to leave, marry, and own your own business—a shop, maybe—and have a servant or two of your own.

But life was uncertain and who knows where you might end up (another interesting statistic, although one I find difficult to believe: one third of the female population of London during the nineteenth century were prostitutes). You might find yourself reviewed in Harris’s List of Covent Garden Ladies, a sort of Michelin Guide to whores for the discerning gentleman.

Your best bet, really, as we told the woman smart enough to ask this interesting question, was to marry as well as you could.

So what what would you be?

If you want to be a contest winner, visit my website, sign up on my mailing list to enter my contest, and read various excerpts including one from JANE AUSTEN: BLOOD PERSUASION.

I am pleased to announce the winners of the Smelling Like Badgers Contest. As you may remember, I held a contest last week for suggestions for Regency pastimes that might suit the modern sensibility. The results were interesting and bizarre. Thanks for playing, everyone.

The winners are:

Lorraine, who suggested playing the bagpipes which is an image I can’t get out of my mind. Every time I return to my WIP I start thinking of a possible opportunity for someone to whip out a bagpipe.

Jane, who suggested a visit to the museum to ogle the nude male statues.

Lorraine and Jane, please visit Bingley’s Teas — I love their Jane Austen-inspired line, shown above, which are actually packaged to look like books and you’ll find all sorts of teas including herbal– and then email riskiesATyahooDOTcom with the blend you’d like and your snailmail. And I shall order forthwith!

Talking of Jane Austen, there’s a wonderful article, actually a review of two new books, in the Los Angeles Review of Books, Just Like A Woman. The books are Why Jane Austen? by Rachel M. Brownstein and William Deresiewicz’s A Jane Austen Education: How Six Novels Taught Me about Love, Friendship, and the Things that Really Matter. Have you read either of them? I really want to read Deresiewicz’s which is an account of how a guy learned to love Austen.

And finally in this post full of trivia–that, kittens and the obvious is what the internet is for–we’re now going to have some serious academic study. Translate:

Han muutti minut sammokoksi

It is of course Finnish for “She turned me into a frog” (or, as Google Translate quaintly puts it, “He moved me to a frog”) the opening line of my novella Little To Hex Her from the Finnish version of Bespelling Jane Austen. I received a handful of copies in the mail the other day which was quite exciting as I’ve never received any of my books in translation before.

Have you read either of the two new books above about Jane Austen? Are you planning to attend the JASNA Conference (AGM) in Fort Worth next month (aargh! next month! Must email my mantuamaker immediately!)? Amanda and I will be there and we’ll give a full report.

First, big news that Diane hinted at last week and that finally I found out about a day later. Jane and the Damned was picked as one of Booklist’s Top Ten Horror books of 2011. I’ve no idea who that Stephen King guy is or how he got on it. Here’s Booklist’s blurb:

Mullany rewrites history in more ways than one in this novel, which sets up Jane Austen as a vampire. A fast-paced adventure for those who don’t mind the vampire craze impinging upon historical events and beloved authors.

A mass market edition of Bespelling Jane Austen comes out September 27, available for preorder at Amazon or Bookdepository (where it’s on sale with free shipping worldwide). I really love this cover.

Other than that, the big news here is the earthquake and although I’m becoming anxious for another topic of conversation I did want to talk about it a little. However I think the next topic of conversation will be the storm of the century, year, month, or even week–as the Washington Post eloquently predicts it will be “dumping inches of rain.” I love that precision. Inches, eh. Two inches? Six? I guess wet is wet.

But what I found really interesting was the reaction of people to it, what they felt and heard. I was at work. My office is about three blocks from the White House, so we tend to get rather nervous about the unexpected, particularly on fine autumnal days. My experience was this: there was a tremendously loud bang and a jolt. I noticed my legs were shaking. Much later I realized that it wasn’t my legs. My first thought was that a truck had smashed into our building but we could see nothing outside. Then we noticed everyone else was leaving the building. So we did too. Wrong! Bits n pieces could fall on your head. They didn’t.

So we hung around outside and enjoyed the sunshine. Everyone was on their cell and, naturally, posting to FB. By then we’d figured out it was an earthquake although the only one I’d experienced before was much quieter. After a while our boss ushered us back inside and sent an email that the next time it happened we should huddle with him beneath a table (no thanks).

And that was it. I can’t say I was scared particularly but a lot of people who experienced more dramatic shaking and swaying of their locations were; I was on the second floor of a fairly solid 1930s building. Everyone’s perception of the event was different and everyone’s story of it is changing and will change.

And that’s pretty much what happens when you take on one of the beloved tropes of mass market fiction and make it your own–do it well, and it will change.

In preparation for the rigors of the weekend I went to the library to pick up some reading material in case the power goes out–this is my version of emergency preparedness, folks–and left with that special warm glow you get for paying your fines up to date.

My emergency reading matter–other than a kindle full of Austen–are books I’ve been meaning to get to for some time, so they constitute some sort of guilty pleasure wishlist: Faithful Place by Tana French, North by Northanger by Carrie Bebris (love that title! And I’m meeting her at the JASNA conference in October) and Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner.

What’s your emergency reading matter?

It is with great pleasure that I introduce Muphry’s Law (courtesy of my lovely daughter the artist), as defined by John Bangsund of the the Victorian Society of Editors who is allowed the spelling in #1 because he was Australian:

  1. if you write anything criticising editing or proofreading, there will be a fault in what you have written;
  2. if an author thanks you in a book for your editing or proofreading, there will be mistakes in the book;
  3. the stronger the sentiment in (a) and (b), the greater the fault; and
  4. any book devoted to editing or style will be internally inconsistent.

It’s tough to follow that, but I thought I’d talk about writing sex scenes. Or rather, YOU will talk about writing sex scenes, since I want some reader feedback.

What anachronisms do you tolerate in the heroine’s underwear

  1. Drawers that need to be removed
  2. Black and/or red garment a la Fredericks of Hollywood
  3. Victorian (much sexier) corset
  4. None. They’re all cheating
  5. Heck, who cares. They’ll be removed anyway

What location do you favor?

  1. The ducal bed
  2. The ducal bed even if the hero isn’t the duke
  3. The garden
  4. The conservatory
  5. The stables
  6. The drawing room
  7. The library
  8. The second undergardener’s shed while he’s on lunch break
  9. The … insert any other room in the house
  10. A carriage
  11. A carriage in Hyde Park when the fashionable parade
  12. An open carriage
  13. An open carriage in Hyde Park when the fashionable parade
  14. On horseback (one horse)
  15. On horseback (two horses)
  16. On horseback (any number of horses) in Hyde Park when the fashionable parade
  17. Other

How long do you like the orgasm to last (the characters‘)?

  1. A chapter
  2. At least six pages
  3. One page
  4. One paragraph
  5. One sentence
  6. A punctuation mark (yes, Pam Rosenthal, I’m talking about you. Read her books for seriously well written stuff)

At that moment, the hero should cry out the name of

  1. The heroine
  2. His mother
  3. His dog
  4. His nurse
  5. His best friend at Eton

Afterward, the heroine should say

  1. [insert hero’s name] never have I experienced anything so wonderful and beautiful.
  2. Where is my absolutely anachronistic underwear? Oh, you ripped it!
  3. I can’t wait to tell my sisters
  4. I can’t wait to tell everyone at Almacks
  5. Can we eat now?

Who laces the heroine back into her stays?

  1. The hero
  2. Her maid, hovering outside the bedchamber door
  3. No problem, she has a zipper
  4. He shouts down into the taproom of the inn for assistance.

Any other preferences?

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