Category: Former Riskies

More Wine And Walnuts and Pie

Updated on November 17, 2022 by carolyn

Mr. Ephraim Hardcastle, Dry Salter and leading Old Fogey of the Regency has endeared himself to me. Assuming this isn’t really some impoverished, scandal-ridden fellow writing under an assumed identity, ala William Ireland, I have a fondness for the fellow. I worry about that because he says he’s 80 but his buddies many years older. Maybe he meant relatively many years.

I haven’t figured out yet why this book is titled Wine and Walnuts, but he’s also giving writing advice. Except let me back off a bit and say I find his remarks about First Person interesting. I suppose there’s a conceit there, the 3rd person thing.

Now, having said this much, I will endeavour to show how this marvellous faculty had birth —call me Egotist, if it be your pleasure, for I am of the old school, and save a world of circumlocution, (being too old now to alter) by persisting to pen my sage observations in the first person— I myself I, hating congenially with my ancient friends *, Baron M ***** s, and Mr. C * * * e, among the other ten thousand innovations, those of Him and We, as though in this mincing age every man must mince the matter of propria persona, and worry his brains to stand before the world after all, another Tom Fool, his own amanuensis, by writing as though mister some-one-else sat at his elbow and prompted every line. Well, gentle reader, I will endeavour to show thee how this faculty arose in my mind, how far it* has been indulged (if it have bounds), what have been its concomitants, and what an unceasing source of happiness it has been from early infancy to the present moment — and what a solace midst a multitude of cares; for its interest has “grown with my growth, strengthened with my strength,” and I may add, has lengthened, through God’s goodness, with my thread of life.*

Among these is that innovation, which has banished pies from table. The sterling Mr. *** who has outlived all his family, resides with a worthy matron who keeps a boarding-house; she is a little romantic, and he a little fastidious— “Will you take a bit of tart?” asks the good lady every day.—“No, Madam,” invariably answers the guest. “but I will take a bit of pie.” This is all in good part, and the recurrence, I verily believe, contributes to lengthen his days. I know not two worthier souls than he and the Baron; and both, my seniors by many years, read without spectacles.

Translation:

I’m too old to change. I’m giving you my advice in the first person. In fact, my buddies Baron M and Mr. C, also hate third person, among about 10 bazillion other things. [Insert eye roll here] Those youngsters today make everything more complicated and they couldn’t find themselves if they were alone in a closet. They can’t write “I did this!” Oh, no. They have to get all fancy, and say, “He did that.” As if we’re going to believe there’s someone sitting beside him telling him what to write. So, look, I’m just going to tell it to you straight.

*Nobody eats pies anymore. What’s the hell is up with that? Who needs those fancy tarts? I’m telling you, in my day, we had pie for dinner, and we were better for it. All my friends ate pie, just like I did, and none of need to wear glasses today! And we’re old!

You go Ephraim, with your pie and first person and not needing glasses. I agree with you. More pie!

Posted in Former Riskies, Regency, Risky Book Talk | Tagged Cranky old men, Pie | 2 Replies

Wine and Walnuts

Updated on November 17, 2022 by carolyn

Believe it or not, that’s the actual title of a book published in 1824. There are at least three remarkable things about this book.

First, allow me to share the title page with you.

WINE AND WALNUTS ;
OR
after Dinner Chit Chat
BY
EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE

CITIZEN AND DRY SALTER

SECOND EDITION
IN TWO VOLUMES
VOL I
LONDON
PRINTED FOB LONGMAN HURST REES OEME BROWN AND
GREEN
PATERNOSTER ROW
1824

Chit Chat.I don’t think I knew chit chat was period.

But this: this kills me: Citizen and Dry Salter.

You OWN it Ephraim! Is it just me, or does that strike you as highly amusing?

More Words

If ever a man possessed a particular bent of mind from some inherent feeling I verily believe I may claim credence on asserting that I have experienced such an extraordinary faculty. But lest the assumption may appear proudly egotistical— nay savour too strongly of vanity, in this modest age be it known that my pretensions to notoriety for this singular gift are but on an humble score being neither more nor less than for possessing an inherent love for the PICTURESQUE. Now having said this much I will endeavour to show how this marvellous faculty had birth– call me egotist if it be your pleasure, for I am of the old school, and save a world of circumlocution…

Now, I would have sworn that ego-anything was not period. But apparently it is. And yet, if I had a heroine call someone an egotist, everyone would think of Freud.

Translation please?

And now, what the hell is this guy saying? My brain got all twisted up about ten words in. Allow me to translate:

I feel things more than most, and it’s gone all up in my brain and made me super smart. I’m serious. Not that I’m not vain or anything. Not compared to some of the blowhards these days. Everyone who knows me knows I’m smarter than any of those dodos from Oxford. Here’s my secret; I like pretty things. True statement. Now, listen up, because that’s why you’ll LOVE my stories. I am older than you. Hell, I’m older than your father. I know things you young hipsters don’t.

And that, my friends, took a LOT longer than I expected. That guy’s been in the wine. But then, as he goes on to say. He’s eighty years old.

I may just translate the whole damn book. This guy is funny.

Posted in Former Riskies, History, Reading, Regency, Research | Tagged Carolyn Translates, Dry Salter, Reading and Writing | 4 Replies

MatchBook?

Updated on November 17, 2022 by carolyn

This week I want to ask you all if you’ve been to Amazon to take a look at the debut of Matchbook. In case you don’t know, Matchbook is the Amazon program that works like this:

1. At some time in the past, you bought a print book from Amazon.

2. At some point between then and now, the publisher/rights owner of that book put out a digital edition.

3. The publisher/rights owner has enrolled the book you bought in MatchBook and set a discounted price for the digital book. The discount can be Free!

Result: you are entitled to buy the digital edition at the discounted price.

If you go to Amazon and click on the MatchBook link, you will be presented with a list of digital books you can get at the discounted price.

I looked at my list and here’s what I thought.

Near Real Time Carolyn Reaction Blog

I remember that book! Free? Click. Click Click Click

Judith Ivory’s Black Silk? $2.99? Hell yeah. I refused to buy that in digital because, as I recall, it was priced HIGHER than the print version. Click.

Oh, hey! I LOST the print version of that. Or maybe I threw it away because space is dear around here. $2.99? You betcha! Click.

Oohh. There are some of my Dorchester Books, where YES, I bought the print version way back. (No, I did not click because I MADE the eBook version, and so don’t need it again.)

There’s that diet book I was totally going to use, only the cat chewed on it and now it’s somewhere under my bed. I think. Maybe. $2.99. Click.

Why aren’t there MORE books? I’m confident my print purchases from Amazon number in the hundreds.

Why are there so many missing?

WHY ARE PUBLISHERS SO AFRAID of me re-buying books I already bought from them?

Additional Thoughts

If more of my print purchases had been there, I would have bought a lot more. I would totally re-buy books I remember fondly and either no longer have, or have in paperback but they’re fragile now. I’m actually worried about re-reading Loving Julia, for example, because the pages are yellowing and starting to feel a little brittle. What’s that old saw about the permanence of paper? B-effin-S. (Beffins. It’s a word now. Deal with it.)

I did not click on every book that was there. Some of them I hadn’t enjoyed enough to want in digital. Some of them I hated, but not enough for a hate re-read. And at one point, I thought, I can’t just keep clicking on everything! I’ll run out of money for food!

The oldest of the purchases on my list was from 2000. I was buying a lot of historical romance. (click click click) Avon, you have your head on straight!

No surprise, technical publishers were heavily represented in my list. I think that’s because O’Reilly has had these sorts of discounts in place for years, so all the other tech-publishers do the same. But it was nice to pick up an eBook for some of my recent tech book purchases. They were all free, by the way.

Polls!

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So, what do you think?

Let me know in the comments.

Posted in Former Riskies, Reading | Tagged Matchbook, Polls, shopping | 9 Replies

Miscellaneous Nuts

Updated on November 17, 2022 by carolyn

From that nut, Ephraim Hardcastle of Walnuts and Wine

It is yet a maxim with some remnants of the old school of curmudgeon ledger-men, that to buy a picture is to “hang your money on the wall.” The same narrow notions applied to books — “What, lock your money up in calfskins!”

Editorial note: 1820: Calfskin. 2013: my iPad. I wonder what Mr. Hardcastle would say about that?

The stock of literature, with those who accumulated stock, besides the Holy Bible, usually consisted of John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress, the same lively writer’s Holy War, Fox’s Book of Martyrs, the Old Whole Duty of Man, a mutilated Baker’s Chronicle, some odd volumes of Jacob Tonson’s duodecimo Spectator, and Herman Moll’s Geography, commonly with torn maps, the Tale of a Tub, Milton’s Paradise Lost (never read), Culpepper’s Herbal, or Every Man his own Physician (the good lady’s book, under lock and key), the Complete Letter Writer, belonging to Miss, with Robinson Crusoe, Robin Hood’s Garland, and the Seven Champions of Christendom, the property of Jem and Jack.

Yes, gentle reader, reading has made a wonderful revolution in manners: every pretty miss can name the stars; and Newton, Descartes, and Tycho Brahe, are known to have been neither Egyptian, Roman, nor Greek; and the boys and girls may account for an eclipse, without being checked by papa with, “Such things are presumptuous, child.” In short, your magazinists and reviewists, your essayists and journalists, have brought your book-makers into vogue, until, such are the fruits of this scribbling era, “we philosophers, poets, and wits,” as a learned friend of mine has said, “no longer make a stir as heretofore in a party, like unto a stone, that, thrown into quiet water, maketh a disturbed circle from bank to bank:”—-no, “we make our entrance and our exit much like other harmless folks:” and this! in the year of our Lord eighteen hundred and twenty! —” So runs the world away.”

All-righty! Reading is GOOD for you. Even if it does mean pretty girls can name the stars.

He says that almost like it’s a bad thing. Or so ironically cute. Look at the pretty girl, naming the stars like she’s not going to be popping ’em out like kittens pretty soon.

I have my curmudgeonly moments, and this is one of them.

Watch this Segue

I feel it’s only appropriate to follow that with this, taken from the front matter of an 1825 book on boxing, since, it turns out The Next Historical requires that I know something about Regency era boxing:

THE KNIGHT, THE DAEMON, AND THE ROBBER CHIEF.
A Romance. Price 6s.

THE ACTOR’S BUDGET.
In Two elegant Volumes, 12mo. Price 12s. Boards
By W. OXBERRY,
Of the Drury-Lane Company of Comedians.

In a few Days will be Published.

THE EVE OF SAN MARCO.
A Romance. In Three Volumes, Price 18s. Boards.

THE SPRITE AND THE LADY; OR, REMEMBER TWELVE!!
In Four Volumes, Price 1L. 1s. Boards.
By W. G. Thomas, Esq.

And so, we see that Romance is cheap. Alas, THE KNIGHT, THE DAEMON, AND THE ROBBER CHIEF, while listed in several Circulating Library catalogs, does not seem to be in Google Books. I found The Actor’s Budget. My God. That’s all I’ll say. The Eve of San Marco isn’t in Google books and neither is The Sprite and the Lady and the 12 whatever’s we ought not to forget. It’s MUCH more expensive that the daemon book. Interesting that it doesn’t say it’s in boards. Wonder why not? It’s their LEAD title!

Posted in Former Riskies, Regency, Research, Risky Book Talk | Tagged Boxing, Edcuation is for EVERYONE, Reading and Writing, Romance | Leave a reply

The Old Days and The Past

Updated on November 17, 2022 by carolyn

Did everybody bookmark Diane’s list of fantastic books? Good.

I was going to bring you more of nutty Ephraim, but instead I bring you an epic whine. Possibly a rant.

1830

Early Victorian Geezer: In my day we read by candlelight and it was FINE! ::looks at the ashes of his son-in-law’s house and thinks how they’re all going to fit in his house.:: We didn’t have this fancy gas. Houses didn’t explode unless you shot a cannon at them.

There. That should set the scene.

2013

1. I bought LED lights for the house that can be connected to the wireless network and turned on and off remotely, put on a schedule, alarm, or timer and turned on or off etc even when you’re not home. You can also change the colors to pretty much anything. You can take a photo, or use one on your camera or tablet. I had a photo of macaroons I used so the lights in my room could be pink, yellow and cream when I was in bed, and then they would slowly turn off. I bought a strip for the hallway where the lighting was designed by an idiot so it’s always too damn dark and the switch that’s supposed to turn on/off the lights is either non-functional or at the other end of the hallway. Now we have a purple strip that comes on at 5:45PM and turns off at 7:00 AM. I love this. I will be replacing bulbs as money permits.

2. Where we live, we don’t have real internet. For some time, the best we could do is 3G connected to a router that works with a wireless dongle. The router also has ports for wired connections, which, it turns out, the fancy lights require. The “starter pack” comes with a physical bridge that you connect to your router via an ethernet cable, and then it’s just like magic! Wireless lights! One bridge can control up to 50 lights, and you can put the lights in groups and assign any variations of light, color, and intensity you like. This turns out to be fun, entertaining, a fantastic prank engine, and useful. Also, since this will be relevant in a bit, if your bridge isn’t working, you can still physically turn the lights on and off. Except the strips.

2.5 I had lights set up like this: On the days I work from home, the lights in my room fade on beginning at 5:20AM and turn off at 5:50 AM, after experimentation revealed I always need something I forgot in my room until about 5:50AM. The lights in the living room turn on at 5:25AM. I can also remotely annoy people in other rooms my playing with their lights.

3. Then our carrier for our 3G dongle had some kind of kerfluffle with Sprint and I came home to discover we had no internet. I happen to know AT&T 4G exists where we live since we get 4G on the iThings. So I went to the AT&T store and bought two wireless MyFi devices that were supposed to connect to our router. The wireless devices indeed gave us 4G speeds (YAY!!!) but they did not work with the router. So I got a 3rd device that was a dongle and … [imagine Carolyn’s life is hell] three days and two defective AT&T devices later, the Virgin Wireless dongle arrives. [Imagine some more hellishness] I get it activated over the phone. It works, but only 3G, which is OK since I really only want it for the lights at this point.

3.5 Because I was in light withdrawal. What do you mean I have turn the switch to get the lights on? Why can’t I have pretty colors? I want my macaroon lights!! Why can’t the lights come on when I’m still in bed? Where’s the pretty purple strip of lights for the hallway?

4. I connected the 3G dongle to the wireless router [imagine yet another level of hell, but shorter lasting than all the rest] but the router tech support people gave me the info I needed and 10 minutes later I turned my sister’s room purple.

The moral

Things are way more complicated now.

The future

Our grandkids will roll their eyes when we shake a finger at them and tell them, why in our day, we had to turn on the lights. And then turn them off. And if the internet went out, you went out for pizza.

Posted in Anything but writing, Former Riskies | Tagged The future is now | 2 Replies