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Category: Frivolity

Fun posts

My brother recently informed me of a study that seemed to explain something I’d wondered about.

But first, let me tell you my husband’s reaction when I first showed him the cover for Saving Lord Verwood, and commented on the fact that the gentleman on the cover actually looked a lot like I’d described him. And my husband’s reaction was something like, “Wha, there’s a man on the cover?” His next, more coherent observation was “Nice cleavage.” Then I realized that Verwood wasn’t looking at the ducks.

And I have doubts that the hero of Rules of Love (below) is actually reading the book the heroine is showing him. From the heroine’s amused expression, she’s got his number, too.

So what’s up with these handsome ne’er-do-wells ogling their heroines’ “necks” (the discreet term used during the Regency to describe everything above the décolletage)?

According to the article my brother showed me, the art departments aren’t just trying to portray gentlemen smitten with their ladies’ “charms”. They are showing that these heroes are health-conscious, well ahead of their time.

To quote:

“A new German study of 200 men over a five-year period revealed that staring at a woman’s bosom is good for a man’s health. Dr. Karen Weatherby, who carried out the study wrote in the Journal: “Just 10 minutes staring at the charms of a well endowed female each day is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobic workout. There is no question, gazing at a woman’s breasts makes men healthier! It cuts the risk of heart attack and by doing so the average man can live up to five years longer.”

Alas for modern would-be rakes, this has been outed at www.snopes.com. Sorry guys! We have your number.

Elena 🙂
www.elenagreene.com
LADY DEARING’S MASQUERADE, RT Reviewers’ Choice Award nominee

Posted in Frivolity | Tagged | 6 Replies

Greetings, friendly Twenty-First Century Populace! It is I, Beautiful Bertie, once again.

Today I went to the Maul. There, I was Mauled. I believe you describe this as Truth in Advertising.

In the Maul, I saw a Shop entitled the ‘Hello, Kitty’ Shop.

I once knew a Cat. It never said hello to me.

I once said hello to it, and it bit my nose.

I have no idea why someone would wish to buy such a Kitty. Might someone explain?

Your servant, as ever,

Bertram St. James, Exquisite

I have been watching the Tele Vision Feature “American Idol” recently. I have a few Questions about Names.

1) Why are modern people named things like Ace, but never Eight or King?
2) Why Bucky, but never Poundy or Dollary?
3) Why Paris, but never Dusseldorf or Liverpool?

If anyone can satisfy my curiosity, I will be much beholden to you.

Exquisite (as ever),

Bertie the Beau

As some of you know, I’ve never thought that Marianne Dashwood of “Sense and Sensibility” deserved Colonel Brandon, or was a good match for him. Now, after years of complaining, I’m finally going to do something about it! (With your help, of course.)

We are going to find a new woman for Colonel Brandon! Who gets your vote?

How about Anne Elliot? She’s smart, she’s kind, and she isn’t a teenager. She doesn’t fall in love with cads. On the other hand, both she and Brandon are a bit brooding. Are they too much alike? Would their marriage be a depression made in heaven?

Jane Bennet is much more mature than Marianne, but just as blonde and pretty. And she doesn’t fall in love with cads either. She might not be up to his intellectual weight, though. Would Brandon soon tire of Jane’s sweet nothings? (Pretty much anything she says is a sweet nothing, after all.)

Elizabeth Bennet is smart, and she and Brandon could have invigorating discussions. Or is she too sharp for him? Does he fall in love with teenagers because he’s secretly insecure? Elizabeth might not have the flattering tongue he needs… Or is he confident in himself, and man enough for our Lizzy?

The Fanny Dashwood in the dreadful movie of “Mansfield Park” (which doesn’t deserve to be called a Jane Austen movie, but that rant’s for another time) definitely deserved a better fellow than Edmund! He’s a wimp, and falls in love with female cads! But is this Fanny too contaminated by Patricia Rozema’s movie to truly satisfy Brandon? How about the Fanny of Austen’s book? Would Brandon bring her out of her shell? She’s very young, but perhaps she needs a better defender than indecisive Edmund! And we know Brandon likes teenagers… 🙂 Then again, wouldn’t he be a much better grandfather to Jane Austen’s Fanny?

How about Jane Fairfax? Surely she can do better than that semi-cad, Frank Churchill! She’s quiet, just like Brandon — but is that a good thing or a bad thing? Would they both just sit around all day like lumps? Is she too perfect for him? Surely any woman who’s too perfect for Mr. Knightley would be too perfect for our Colonel Brandon! After all, anyone who falls for Marianne is clearly not looking for a flawless woman. (It could be argued he’s not looking for a woman at all, but that’s another rant for another time.)

Some of you seem to think that Duck-face Miss Bingley can be saved. Who better to do it than Colonel Brandon! Would true love transform her shallow desperation into warm maturity? Or would he end up a grump behind his newspaper like Hugh Laurie’s character?

Or, of course, you may choose to match Brandon up with Marianne if you wish, or with someone not listed here!

Who do you think Colonel Brandon should marry?

Cara
Cara Kingwww.caraking.com
MY LADY GAMESTER — Holt Medallion Finalist!

Last week we tried to marry off poor Colonel Brandon, who clearly deserves a good wife. (If you missed that discussion, you can still take part if you click here.)

This week — Elinor Dashwood!

(And for those of you who are wondering, yes — I do have a little problem with Jane Austen’s “Sense and Sensibility.”) 🙂

So. Elinor Dashwood. Who should she marry? Who will make her truly happy? YOU decide!

How about Colonel Brandon? He’s intelligent, sensitive, and well bred. Plus, he has more money than Edward! Were Elinor and Brandon fated to fall in love? Was Jane Austen blind to their true destinies? (I will admit, the first time I ever read S&S, I thought Elinor and Colonel Brandon would get together. I felt they had a real connection! They certainly seemed to have better conversations than Elinor and Edward, or Marianne and anybody! Was Jane Austen mistaken? Or did she perhaps know the truth, but have to hide it in clues due to some secret cabal that would murder anyone who — um, okay, wrong book.)


Does Elinor Dashwood secretly have a thing for that rascal Willoughby? The cad is certainly more manly than the easily-manipulated Edward. (And Emma Thompson fell for Greg Wise, which must mean something!) But would he just break her heart? And is he too young, too immature for her anyway? Or would she steady him, while he brought some spontaneity into her life? (Am I sounding like Oprah yet?)

As long as we’re giving her young cads, how about the youngest and newest on the block? Blond Wickham here is certainly nice to look at. Would Elinor have a great time reforming him? Of course, he’s very very young. But Elinor’s only nineteen herself, right?

While we’re on the subject of blonds, how about Sharpe? (I know, I know, bizarre choice. I just like the picture. Nice picture. Yummy Sharpe. Umm….what was I saying?) If Elinor could reform Willoughby, could she reform Sharpe? He’s a different sort of womanizer…less calculated, more impulsive. Would the class thing keep them apart? (Okay, yes, he’s a ridiculous suggestion, but he looks so nice in his uniform!)

How would Elinor and Captain Wentworth do together? She’s good, I suspect, at supporting male egos — and he’s got one that needs to be supported. He’s better off than Edward (but then, who isn’t???), and has friendlier relatives. So if Anne Elliot weren’t around, would Wentworth be Elinor’s true love, and vice versa?

Or how about Mr. Darcy? Sure, he’s perfect for Elizabeth Bennet, but if she didn’t have him, how would he do for Elinor Dashwood? Would her stodginess and his stodginess breed until they were dull and insufferable? Or would her gentle ways and his good breeding create a peaceful, beautiful home? (And don’t forget that money! I do want to give Elinor a lot of money. She deserves it.)

Wait, I already did Mr. Darcy, right? Well, I know some of you like Colin Firth (and some of you really like Colin Firth) and some of you like Matthew McFadyen (and some of you really like Matthew McFadyen) so I figured I’d put both pictures here to keep the fighting down to a minimum!

So, would anyone else do better for Elinor? Mr. Tilney? (Too flippant?) Edmund Bertram? (Too serious?) Edward Ferrars? (Too wimpy? Too poor?) Mr. Knightley?

Mr. Knightley! Oh, I can’t pass up an excuse to put Mr. Knightley’s picture up here. My Jeremy is so handsome! Besides, Mr. Knightley may be the perfect match for Elinor. Mature, well-bred, and very very rich. 🙂

So — who gets your vote? Who do you think Elinor Dashwood should marry?

Cara
Cara Kingwww.caraking.com
MY LADY GAMESTER — Holt Medallion Finalist!

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