As some of you know, I’ve never thought that Marianne Dashwood of “Sense and Sensibility” deserved Colonel Brandon, or was a good match for him. Now, after years of complaining, I’m finally going to do something about it! (With your help, of course.)

We are going to find a new woman for Colonel Brandon! Who gets your vote?

How about Anne Elliot? She’s smart, she’s kind, and she isn’t a teenager. She doesn’t fall in love with cads. On the other hand, both she and Brandon are a bit brooding. Are they too much alike? Would their marriage be a depression made in heaven?

Jane Bennet is much more mature than Marianne, but just as blonde and pretty. And she doesn’t fall in love with cads either. She might not be up to his intellectual weight, though. Would Brandon soon tire of Jane’s sweet nothings? (Pretty much anything she says is a sweet nothing, after all.)

Elizabeth Bennet is smart, and she and Brandon could have invigorating discussions. Or is she too sharp for him? Does he fall in love with teenagers because he’s secretly insecure? Elizabeth might not have the flattering tongue he needs… Or is he confident in himself, and man enough for our Lizzy?

The Fanny Dashwood in the dreadful movie of “Mansfield Park” (which doesn’t deserve to be called a Jane Austen movie, but that rant’s for another time) definitely deserved a better fellow than Edmund! He’s a wimp, and falls in love with female cads! But is this Fanny too contaminated by Patricia Rozema’s movie to truly satisfy Brandon? How about the Fanny of Austen’s book? Would Brandon bring her out of her shell? She’s very young, but perhaps she needs a better defender than indecisive Edmund! And we know Brandon likes teenagers… 🙂 Then again, wouldn’t he be a much better grandfather to Jane Austen’s Fanny?

How about Jane Fairfax? Surely she can do better than that semi-cad, Frank Churchill! She’s quiet, just like Brandon — but is that a good thing or a bad thing? Would they both just sit around all day like lumps? Is she too perfect for him? Surely any woman who’s too perfect for Mr. Knightley would be too perfect for our Colonel Brandon! After all, anyone who falls for Marianne is clearly not looking for a flawless woman. (It could be argued he’s not looking for a woman at all, but that’s another rant for another time.)

Some of you seem to think that Duck-face Miss Bingley can be saved. Who better to do it than Colonel Brandon! Would true love transform her shallow desperation into warm maturity? Or would he end up a grump behind his newspaper like Hugh Laurie’s character?

Or, of course, you may choose to match Brandon up with Marianne if you wish, or with someone not listed here!

Who do you think Colonel Brandon should marry?

MY LADY GAMESTER — Holt Medallion Finalist!