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Treasure hunt!

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It is I, Bertram St. James, Regency Time-Traveler Extraordinaire, here to tell you about the deliciously exciting Risky Regencies Treasure Hunt!

Enter now! Answer the six questions that follow, “e-mail” them to the “e-mail address” provided, and you will be entered to win literary treasure!

How do you find the answers to these questions? It is excessively simple. Just search this “blog.” Have delirious fun while doing so. Indeed, become so distracted by all this fun that you almost forget to put on your cravat.

Oh, very well. Having all that fun is not actually a prerequisite for winning. (The prize-winner shall be the entrant with the greatest number of correct answers. If there is a tie, the winner shall be picked at random from those entries which contain the most correct answers.) Of course, anyone finding all six correct answers will have all the fun that I described above — and quite possibly so much more.

The best part of all this? The triumphant winner (who shan’t be paraded by chariot through the streets of Rome crowned with laurel, but really ought to be, if you ask me) will win many books written by the Risky Regencies authors — you are guaranteed at least six free autographed books (personally inscribed with your name) — and most likely more than six. You will also win a variety of delightful Regency-themed or English-themed items, which may include tea, or bookmarks, or who knows what else!

You have through Saturday, Jan 14, 2006 to enter. Email your answers to elailah@yahoo.com (you cannot post your answers on this “blog” for reasons that are so obvious that even I can figure them out).

And the questions (drum roll, please):

  1. If Megan could be any character from a Regency romance, which character would it be?
  2. What is Janet’s favorite museum in the city of Bath?
  3. What Regency era pastry recipe did Elena recreate for her Regency Tea and booksigning?
  4. What product was once marketed to worried consumers when the fear of Grave Robbers was prominent?
  5. Which Jane Austen movie heartthrobs won the top votes in the Risky Regencies poll in each of the three categories: (a) hottest, (b) most loveable, and (c) most marriageable? (You must name the character AND the actor for each!)
  6. What two Christmas novellas did Amanda write for Signet? And which one contains her personal favorite couple of her own creating? (Name the couple for bonus points!)

Best of British luck to you all!

Bertram St. James, Exquisite

Posted in Frivolity, Giveaways | Tagged , | Leave a reply

Blog Party Rules!!! (Besides HAVE FUN!)

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Welcome to the Risky Regencies Blog Party! Thanks for coming. Do come in, have a seat, have a glass of claret or a cup of tea.

In addition to mingling with other guests and your six hostesses (and of course me, Bertram St. James, Regency time-traveler extraordinaire), you have the chance to win prizes. Six daily prizes will be awarded, one for each day from Monday through Saturday, with a grand prize at the end of the week to the winner of the Treasure Hunt.

1. To be eligible for a daily prize, just submit a comment on any or all of the posts which appear each day from Monday through Saturday (January 9 through 14). The winning comment will be chosen based on its creativity, originality, or truthfulness — or perhaps on whether it made that day’s hostess snort with laughter.

2. You may continue to comment after the “day” of the post — all comments will be eligible for a prize, as long as they appear before the end of Saturday, January 14.

3. It is possible to win on multiple days.

4. Hedgehogs are eligible for prizes, but only if do not leave footprints in the blog.

5. Information about the Treasure Hunt rules and grand prize appear in the post entitled TREASURE HUNT.

6. Isn’t my waistcoat too beautiful for words?

7. The hostesses and their families are not eligible for prizes, although of course they are allowed to chatter as much as they want. They will anyway.

8. Tea is allowed to post comments as much as it likes, but only if it is real tea. It may have milk in it, or even sugar or honey, or a bit of lemon — but no mango, no vermicelli, no pantheon of primates.

9. All the prize winners will be announced next week — so do check back to see if you’ve won!

10. Gentlemen are encouraged to join in the fun. Bounders and cads, however, are not welcome. (You know who you are.)

11. Questions? Just ask by leaving a comment on this post! (To comment, you will need to be registered with the entity known as “Blogger” or “Blogspot” — but this process is free, and ever so delightful.)

Now, to the party!

Bertie the Beau, Regency Exquisite

Posted in Frivolity, Giveaways | Tagged , | 19 Replies

Bertram St. James’s Reflections on 2005

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Greetings once again, O warm and welcoming Denizens of the Twenty-first Century! It is I, Bertram St. James…as you can tell by my (exquisite) portrait which accompanies this epistle.

I thought I would share with you my Impressions and Ruminations on my first months in your time period. (For those of you who may be new to this Risky Regency salon, please know that I was a happy and handsome inhabitant of the year 1812 until just a few months ago…when somehow, I came here….no, I mean, came now. No, that doesn’t sound quite right either, does it? Oh, bother it all. You know what I mean.)

ASPECTS OF THE YEAR 2005 THAT I QUITE LIKED:

1. I simply adore Showers. In fact, I adore all of the Plumbing I have so far encountered in the Twenty-first Century.
2. The astoundingly low price of Books. I now own a Complete Shakespeare.
3. The fact that when one sees Shakespeare performed, no one cuts out the indelicate bits. In fact, as far as I can tell, new indelicate bits are added in.
4. Twix, Snickers, Hershey, Ms&Ms, Godiva (thank you for suggesting the last, Madame McCabe.) Chocolate Candy. What an invention.
5. Messrs. Johnson and Johnson’s Dental Floss.
6. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. What beautiful people. I could stare at them all day (and sometimes do.) Jennifer Lopez is also an aesthetic pleasure.
7. Public Libraries.
8. Electricity-powered Clothes Irons. Now one’s man is much less likely to singe one’s Clothes. (Not that mine ever did. Except that one time.)
9. Electricity-powered Lights. They are ever so much brighter than even the best beeswax candles, or any oil lamp I have ever encountered. Moreover, they do not smoke, they do not need tending, and they do not set one’s house on fire when one’s man is careless. (Not that mine ever did. Except — oh, never mind.)

ASPECTS OF THE YEAR 2005 THAT I FELT WERE QUITE UNNECESSARY:

1. I feel quite sad whenever I notice Tea adulterated with such things as maple and mango (whatever they are). Why are 2005 people not happy with simple Tea? Do you modern folk find the flavour of Tea so repulsive that you must needs cover it up with such things? If you must drink Vanilla Mango Maple Chai Licorice concoctions, why put Tea in them at all??? And do not try to tell me it is for Tea’s Stimulative Properties. It did not take me long to learn what “De-Caffeinated” means. Why not drink “De-Alconated” Wine, for heaven’s sake?
2. While I’m on the subject, let me add that I don’t understand why modern folk do not drink more. And by “drink more,” I mean wine, beer, ale, brandy, sherry, port…even gin. Not water. Not milk. Not “Energy Drinks.” Wine strengthens the blood and knits the bones! Please, do try to drink your bottle a day. It does a body good.
3. Safety Razors. Shave with a proper razor, for Heaven’s sake. How otherwise can you have a truly smooth chin?
4. Men’s Clothing. (Shudder.) Why are men so ashamed of their legs? Are they all turned Puritan?
5. Freeways are ugly things. Do away with them all, and I assure you, you will all be much happier.

Let me take this Opportunity to wish you all a Happy New Year! And may you all have the good fortune to grow half as elegant as I am in 2006.

Bertram St. James, Exquisite

Posted in Frivolity | Tagged , | 8 Replies

An Austen first for the Riskies

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The world of Jane Austen scholarship was shaken to the core by the recent discovery of a “lost” excerpt from Pride and Prejudice. Currently undergoing rigorous handwriting, paper, and ink analysis, the fragment reveals a daring stylistic experimentation that has already created fierce controversy in academic circles. The short scene depicts Jane Bennett, who, while waiting for Lizzie to return from Derbyshire, seeks outside help in rescuing Lydia from ruin. With the violent rejection of the classical style,what was Austen intending? One cannot help but wonder, had she pursued this course, how the introduction of a new character, a possible rival for either Bingley or Darcy, would have influenced the romantic element of the novel; and certainly it seems, in its revelation of the seamy underbelly of Meriton, to indicate a possible bloody gang shoot-out as the book’s climax.

It is with great pleasure and the deepest honor that the Risky Regencies Blog presents the world debut of this important addition to the Austen canon.

She’s cool as a cucumber, this Miss Bennett. Not what I expected, not after what I’d heard in the village about the family. She receives me in a drawing room furnished with old-world stuff–nothing fancy, old pieces, the whole set-up breathing respectability and solidity.

“Thank you for coming, sir.” She gestures to a chair, one of those spindly English things. The old dame who took my hat and gloves stays with us in the room, picking away at an embroidery frame to preserve the decencies, I guess.

When Miss Bennett leans to pour tea her gown slips up revealing a pretty good ankle. Not bad, not bad at all, but this is business, and I let her mess around with the teacups while keeping an eye on her. She’s too genteel to offer me a Scotch, but for the moment I’m playing on her terms.

“The weather has been quite remarkably good,” she offers, and the slight tremor in her hand reveals her agitation. “I think, however, we can expect some rain later this week.”

I decide to help her out. “Sure. Say, Miss Bennett, you didn’t call me here to talk about the weather.”

“You are correct, sir.” She produces a small, lace-edged handkerchief and gives a genteel sniffle. “I daresay you have heard…how could you not have…the disgrace that has fallen upon our family. Forgive me, it is dreadful indeed. My youngest sister, Lydia, has…has fallen into the hands of an adventurer and has been persuaded to elope. I think he does not intend to marry her. Sir, you must help us find them.”

“Wickham?” I ask. Things had gotten too hot for him in London, after he’d fallen out with the boys at White’s, and the whole set up stinks of him. He’d tried to set up a rival operation to Bingley and Darcy, but they were too clever for him, and they’d left town after they’d sucked the neighborhood dry. Even so, they’d forced Charlotte Lucas to throw in her lot with the de Bourgh Gang and last I’d heard she was engaged in a struggle for power with Collins.

“I fear so.” She plies the handkerchief, a picture of bewildered innocence. “My Papa and Mama are prostrated with grief, and I do not know to whom I can turn until Lizzie comes home.”

Right, her father operating some sort of scam from his study and her hophead of a mother high as a kite most of the time from all I’ve heard, continually sending her daughters into town to buy more of the stuff at that fake haberdasher’s. “Lizzie?”

“My sister. She will know what to do. She is in Derbyshire, and on her way home even as we speak.”

“Up north?” This stinks more and more. If the Wordsworth siblings, that cold-hearted team of killers, are part of the scheme, there’ll be blood all over this polite drawing-room before we’re finished.

“It is dreadful indeed.” She dabs at her eyes.

“You’re good, sister. Real good.”

“I beg your pardon?” She draws herself up and looks at me with disdain.

“You’re good, real good, all that fake innocence, but I’ve been made a sap of one too many times by dames like you. It’s time to come clean, dollface.”

“Sir!” She leaps to her feet, doing the heaving bosom thing. “I regret we will have no need of your services. Please leave this house immediately, Mr. Spade.”

Posted in Frivolity, Jane Austen | Tagged | 3 Replies
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