I must say that Ms. Jewel is a tough act to follow. Because as much as I ever think about what to post in advance–I try, but it doesn’t always happen–I was thinking of writing my new year’s resolutions too. Mine are the same as usual, which means I can safely ignore them:
- Write more, whine less.
- Move more, eat less.
- Be nicer (I was on painkillers for a time over the holidays and everyone, particularly my nearest and dearest, mentioned what an improvement it was).
So since I am writing my first ever alpha male hero (not one of the glasses-wearing, eternally weepy guys I am so fond of), I give you …. the new year resolutions of an alpha male.
- Try not to stride so much, am tired of bumping into walls, furniture, horses etc.
- Less fisting. Ahem. This is in the accepted romance parlance as in clenching of fists (get your minds out of the gutter).
- Will not use garden implements or cutlery on hair. No kidding, in a recent Facebook discussion someone admitted their hero forked his hair. And then there’s all that raking.
- Will give up sleeping with beautiful but willing women who
remind me of my mothermy nursemy fathercan only give meempty satisfaction savage joy revenge oh what the hellunless my duties as a top spy require it. - Talking of which I’ll try to figure out exactly what I’m supposed to be doing as a spy because it’s all pretty vague and I’m too busy with female company to actually do anything, although I am sure Lord M will call me to account some day.
- Will ignore plain wallflowers, vicar’s daughters, pretty female servants, uppity bluestocking type women etc.
even if they’re really begging for a goodso they may find a suitable husband of their own class. - I will get over my father, mother, first true love and the terrible thing they did many years ago which has forever scarred me.
- I will find a meaningful hobby that does not involve women, gambling, or drink.
What sort of meaningful hobby do you think the alpha male will find? Any other suggestions for his new year’s resolutions?
Oh, I love these! I have nothing to add, and I know my heroes are guilty of some of these, for sure.
Megan, after writing these I went to the current WIP and did some judicious editing. But I kept the striding and door slamming because it’s such a good way to end a chapter.
Begin at the beginning, with lots of fresh air and outdoor activity as you learn to be a responsible landowner and local magistrate. Start by hauling yourself out of bed before 8 o’clock and leave your valet gobsmacked. Happy 1813!
Yes, but if he goes roaming around before noon he’s sure to bump into one of the unsuitable women listed and the temptation may prove too much.
I like Lenore’s suggestion. He could also publicly become a benefactor of an orphanage, hospital for the poor, or an activist for better conditions for the poor.
Of course, we will ruin him and he will no longer be an alpha.
Mine is going to reveal that he plays the piano (beautifully) and operates a school in his factory. Aaaaaw.
Your Alpha Male is surely only suffering a bout of dyspepsia after his Yuletide orgies…. otherwise, there is no alpha male story ahead for him. Unless in his new life he is bewitched by a girl with a mission that renews everything. If not, alas, poor Rake, he’d better take up gardening.
At least it will keep it out of his hair.
Reading all of this at once makes him sound as if he is having some sort of bizarre seizure or at least a truly awful nervous tic! I suggest he rusticate on some country estate until he gets control of himself!
■ Will ignore plain wallflowers, vicar’s daughters, pretty female servants, uppity bluestocking type women, etc. Of course we all know that one of these women will wind up as our rake’s Nemesis (or, as some would have it, his True Love) and his raking days will soon be over. For example, that pretty servant girl? Turns out she’s an aristocrat who is either 1) running from an arranged marriage to a despicable cad, 2) doing research on the plight of the underclass (if #2, she is a conflation of servant/bluestocking/do-gooder, or 3) the child of a love match that caused her parents to be disowned but which means she herself will only settle for a similar romantic relationship no matter that she can barely feed or clothe herself on her wages.
In other words, no matter what his resolutions, he may very soon find himself legshackled to the last woman he would have expected (and so had the lowest defences against). But then, this is the world of Romance.
A meaningful hobby? Are riding, fencing, and shooting (all of which might be useful to a rakish spy) essentials rather than hobbies, and therefore already part of his daily life? OK – archery. It will increase his marksmanship, and require him to stand still and control his muscles…
Don’t forget eliminating the quirking of his eyebrows. I have just given my alpha hero stitches so he cannot lift them whatsoever.
Too bad Botox hadn’t been invented yet — it would make this resolution so much easier for our Regency rake.