Today at the Riskies we’re pleased to welcome back Janet Mullany (contest details and excerpts on her website) whose Regency chicklit Mr. Bishop and the Actress is officially released tomorrow but is available right now at bookdepository.com, free shipping worldwide.
Hi Janet!
Hi Janet!
Tell us about the book.
You know what it’s about.
[Go on, pretend]
[Heavy sigh] Mr Bishop and the Actress, a work of staggering genius, stark unrelenting beauty, and fierce, unbridled passion between a man, a woman, and the regiment who loves them–oh sorry, wrong book. It started with the title and a first line, Sorry, darling, it’s either you or the horses. That actually became the first line of chapter 2. It’s about an actress–
An actress? Again?*
So? Yes, an actress who’s a mistress being discarded, hence the first line of chapter 2.
Maybe we should talk about what’s new for you in the book.
Okay. There is a prologue in third person omnipotent point of view, past tense.
Really?
I think that’s what it is. There’s also childbirth, death, a virgin hero, annoying parents, runaway children, bad jokes, and a look into the marriage of Shad and Charlotte from Improper Relations after three children.
No dancing bears?**
Very few animals. There are some dogs, a pig whose best friend is a dog, and a donkey whose best friend is a horse, and some poultry with Shakespearian names, but that’s about it.
That’s disappointing.
Not really. There is a bearded lady whose stage name is Fatima the Bearded Woman of Constantinople but who is really called Sylvia Cooper and who comes from Wapping.
That makes a nice change. How about sex?
Absolutely. Here’s an excerpt from page 46.
“Do you wear those spectacles all the time, Mr. Bishop?”
“Yes, except when I’m in bed.”
She smiles and rises to her feet. She reaches for the spectacles and removes them.
And then?
Explicit details follow in chapter four.
Finally.
Chapter four is one page long.
Moving on, can you explain the title?
It’s an English joke. If you add “as the actress said to the bishop” to an innocent statement, it can sound quite dirty. It’s rather like the pleasing effect of adding “in bed” to a fortune cookie motto, which improves it no end (even if it’s a bible quote).
So please give us your example of an innocent sentence corrupted by the addition of “as the actress said to the bishop.” Janet will give away two signed copies of the book, winner to be announced on Saturday.
*A Most Lamentable Comedy, The Rules of Gentility
**A Most Lamentable Comedy
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Fun post, sounds like a fun book. I love regencies. Thanks for the giveaway.
lcbrower40(at)gmail(dot)com
LOVE that interview! “Sparkling wit and just enough of a tease to make me want more,” said the actress to the bishop!
“That’s rather a lot to take in,” said the actress to the bishop.
“A bit too fast and flashy for my taste,” said the actress to the bishop.
This is fun!
Finally! Another book from you. About time. Write faster.
Don’t enter me for the drawing.
“I ordered it from the depository,” as the bishop said to the actress.
Oh, Janet, this post just made my day! You are hysterical, and I can’t wait to read this book. Love the title by the way.
kerri1102@juno.com
Hi Alyssia, Linda, Louisa, and Miranda. Well done, all (as the actress said to the bishop). Extra credit to Miranda for making depository into a dirty word!
“Hold it like this?” said the actress to the bishop.
“I absolutely can’t swallow that,” said the actress to the bishop.
Heh.
Congrats on your release (said the actress to the bishop)!
“I very nearly choked,” the actress said to the bishop. As did I, reading this interview. Hilarious — thanks for the giveaway!
“That’s it for me”, said the actress to the bishop.
As I am sure we all feel about the winter weather….
“I can’t take anymore”, said the actress to the bishop.
“It’s a little slippery and might even be dangerous”, said the actress to the bishop.
This is addictive…I am stopping now. Congrats on the release, can’t wait to read it!
Congrats on the release. Do you think your books will ever be available in e-book format?
I like to keep it simple…;)
“Oh my!”, said the actress to the Bishop.
shinalltt@comcast.net
Oh, I want to read this book!
The problem with the Actress-Bishop phrase is that it’s only really funny when used in contexts unrelated to the boudoir. Such as:
(When hanging a picture)
“Just a little higher and to the left, as the actress said to the bishop.”
(When at the grocery store)
“Those mangoes look delicious! As the bishop said to the actress.”
(When in line at the bank)
“Good Lord, this is taking forever! As the actress said to the bishop.
“What? No cats?” said the actress to the bishop.
I loved your little excerpt. LOVED IT (said the actress to the bishop)
Let’s make cupcakes, (as the actress said to the bishop).
We’ve run out of milk, (as the actress said to the bishop).
And I’m stopping there… Sounds like another winner, Janet!
Can’t wait to read this. Looks so good.
“That’s gross” said the actress to the bishop.
iqb99@yahoo.com
Your new book sounds wonderful and I can’t wait to read it.
“Feel free to remove your robe,” as the actress said to the bishop.
Excellent, keep them coming (as the bishop said the actress). Nice work, everyone although I am quite shocked at the unwomanly inventiveness here.
” I really wanted to eat that myself,” as the Actress said to the Bishop (cue heavy music)…
Susan in AZ
“Don’t take too long,” said the actress to the bishop.
“I never do,” said the bishop to the actress.
“Mmmmm dessert. My favorite, spotted dick,” said the actress to the bishop.
Fabulous interview, Janet. Congrats on the book release!
Okay, now I’m going to try this with phrases I used today around the house
“You need to have something more than that for breakfast,” as the actress said to the bishop
“Aren’t you done yet?” as the actress said to the bishop
“You beat your record time by nearly 30 seconds” as the actress said to the bishop
Too fun!
“Could you hurry it up? My feet are freezing,” as the actress said to the bishop.
“Do you have to make so much racket with that?” as the actress said to the bishop.
Had to stop back by to admire everyone’s cleverness! Some wicked, wicked phrases here!
Reunion with Shad and Charlotte, hooray!
Upcoming funny animal characters, double hooray!
“I so enjoy Shakespearian donkeys,” said the actress to the bishop.
Sounds like another Mullany book I have to read! Haven’t been disappointed yet!
And in honor of awards season (this being about an actress and all):
“Now that’s what I call Golden Globes,” said the actress to the bishop.
“What have you done to Oscar?” said the actress to the bishop.
“Well, it is the People’s Choice,” said the actress to the bishop.
“Now that’s a Super Bowl,” said the actress to the bishop (had to throw that in there for the sports fans)
I’m way too late for all of this, damn it, but my father used to tack “as the girl said to the sailor” onto the ends of sentences, which operates on the same principle, I believe. Obviously the bishop has better ton. 🙂