squirrel bows Archives - Risky Regencies


Four French Ladies All Duded Up.

I took the photo above with my Nikon D-80, a camera I love, but for which I do not have the correct sort of lens for this endeavor. My apologies for their blurry feet. You’ll have to take my word for it, their shoes are cute. Over on the left, underneath the cute slippers, the text says “Restoration 1815” Since this is FRENCH fashion, that would be the restoration of Napoleon. Over there on the right, it says “Restoration 1830”

It’s from my book “History of Fashion” which you don’t find out until you look at the interior that it’s

The History of Fashion

In France

The book does have all the original color plates on very thick paper. They’re really, really vibrantly colored so I love looking through this book.

Anyway, in just 15 years, fashion changed pretty dramatically.

French Lady No. 1: Well, no, jeune fille. Awesome reticule but the flounces are a bit much for me. Not a complete fail. She’s rocking the colors: pink ribbon, pink hat, green gloves and yellow and green shawl. Sorry French Lady No 1. I will have to vote you off the runway for excessive use of flounces.

French Lady No. 2: Eglantine wears a more successful concoction. This is a prettier gown if you ask me. But come on. That gown makes her look pregnant. Or else she is. If she is, awesome maternity gown! If she’s not, that’s a fabric fail. The picture strongly suggests her scarf is attached to her head. A secret weapon, perhaps? It looks like a ribbon scarf but it’s really a lasso.

French Lady No. 3: Well. I say her name is Martine, and but what the F are those yellow things? I mean I know they’re bows, but to me they look like squirrels disguised as bows. If I were a guy, I’d be afraid of those bows. Nevertheless, lose the bows and I like this dress. The enormous sleeves will keep squirrel lovers at bay.

French Lady No. 4: Pink. That rocks. I used to hate pink but now I don’t. From the hem to the waist this frock is a major win. Above the belt? That’s a superhero costume. I am umbrella lady! Radioactive bullets shoot out of my sleeves! Also, how the hell can she possibly breathe with that belt so tight? That’s why she looks sad. Because she can’t breathe. She doesn’t have to be voted off the runway. She’ll fall off when the oxygen runs out. 3…2…1 Kablam!