Tag Archives: Silly Stuff

The 50′ Pink Rabbit of the Regency

Updated on January 10, 2013 by Janet Mullany

Just for fun and procrastination I googled ten basic plots and came up with some weird weird stuff as you might expect. So I thought I’d come up with my own. Please feel free to add your own:

Hero[ine] leaves home and becomes involved with 50′ high pink rabbit cult.
50′ pink rabbit arrives in town.
H/H want each other but physical object such as 50′ pink rabbit prevent their union.
H/H both want the 50′ pink rabbit, possessed of title and immeasurable wealth, but not each other.
The 50′ pink rabbit runs a spy ring and recruits H/H who become fierce competitors.
The 50′ pink rabbit writes a book called A Lot of Shades of Pink that becomes an immediate bestseller despite a rabbit’s typically incompetent grasp of grammar or basic math.
The 50′ pink rabbit receives movie deals and product endorsements and H/H plot its downfall.
The 50′ pink rabbit inherits a charming but run down B&B in a small town and hires H/H’s respective remodeling/interior design companies (note: excellent for Hero/Hero books)
H/H start new job as assistant to the 50′ Billionaire Pink Rabbit who mercilessly sexually harasses them and chews through their power cords.
50′ pink rabbit invites H/H to secret club where he/she/they are forced to wear rabbit costumes and eat carrots.
Renegade government agents H/H capture 50′ pink rabbit that is a threat to national security.
H/H rescue 50′ pink rabbit imprisoned by Pentagon for secret testing.
The 50′ pink rabbit secretly gives birth to a litter of 10 blind 6′ babies.

More, please!

What am I reading/writing anyway?

Updated on February 24, 2011 by Janet Mullany

First some news–my next book about Jane and the Damned is coming out in October and now has a title, Jane Austen: Blood Persuasion. I’ve also seen the cover but I can’t show it to you yet. Cool! This illustration is my favorite still from the book trailer of Jane and the Damned.

Following last week’s post about the pros and cons of different historical periods it seems only natural (to me anyway) today to delve into subgenres. Lucky us, we have so much choice in the sort of books available and the merging of once-discrete subgenres. It can be confusing! So here’s a field map to some scenarios and how they’d play out.

Hero wears

Quietly elegant clothes made by London’s top tailor. You know, the exclusive one only the Big Guys know about.
Pants so tight you really don’t notice anything else and a shirt that unbuttons all the way down
Subtly scented oil
Quietly elegant clothes made by London’s top tailor but cut to accommodate the wings or any other little (or big) extra(s) and/or martial arts weapons

Heroine wears

Demure sprigged cotton, bonnet, gloves, the whole shebang
Red satin with a dozen tiny buttons down the back etc.
Subtly scented oil
The usual sort of Regency stuff but with many hidden pockets for stakes, knives, martial arts weapons

They go for a walk in the woods.

He picks flowers which she and her chaperone squeal over with delight
Not much walking going on here
Even less here
A possible declaration of love is thwarted by an attack by the creatures of darkness

He retires to the library to

Sigh gently over a half-composed poem and figure out how best to serve the needy and poor on the estate
Above, pants optional. Some of those tenants are very needy.
Enter the orgy room through the false bookcase (note: they’re all false. No time for reading in this world!)
Plan strategy to eliminate creatures of darkness

Hero and heroine ride together in a carriage

When the chaperone falls asleep, they allow their hands to touch for one precious, poignant moment
Athletic goings-on strain the framework of the carriage
Above, but chaperone, coachman, and postilions join in
Fierce fight as creatures of darkness or whatever swarm over the vehicle

When they arrive in London, the heroine agonizes over whether she’ll receive

Vouchers for Almacks
Invitations to soirees full of hot, young, single Dukes
Invitations to orgies
Invitation to summit to fight off creatures of darkness, which are now becoming tedious to me and will catch a mysterious virus and slink back to whence they came

The heroine becomes pregnant after

The marriage night, thank you very much
About page 35 but she doesn’t realize it until everyone else has, including the exasperated reader
Pregnant? I don’t think so
Hero assures her the creatures of darkness are vanquished. But wait…

Your suggestions?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Jane Austen: Blood Persuasion, Silly Stuff, subgenres | 3 Replies

Regency Mad Libs

Updated on May 26, 2010 by carolyn

I tried to find an on-line make your own mad lib, but the one I found either didn’t work or was designed for collecting emails and since I don’t have time to write an app myself, here’s a Regency Mad Lib for you to play with. It’s probably more fun if you at least mentally go over the list of words, then if you like (please!!) paste the result into a comment so we can all laugh at those wacky Regency heroines!

The mad lib itself is below the list….

City or Place or just something geological
adjective beginning with a consonant
verb
body part (male or gender neutral)
adjective beginning with a vowel
age
Month
piece of furniture
item found in an office
complimentary adjective
a man’s first name
another man’s first name
amphibian
adverb
adjective
an older Woman’s name
gerund
Day of the week
male profession – something in trade or service
paltry number
Adverb
Heroine’s name

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My dear Lord [1: City or Place or geological something]hamstone

I write to you of a [2: adjective] event that has resulted in it being necessary to [3. verb] myself at your [4. body part] and beg for assistance. Not money. I would never importune you in such an [5. adjective] fashion. But I am but [6. age] and unmarried. My father’s death this past [7. month] in a [8. piece of furniture] accident has left me an orphan. In going through his [9. item found in an office] I have discovered that your [10. complimentary adjective] person is my guardian. My uncle [11. a Man’s first name] has told me I must marry his eldest son [12. another man’s name], who is, not to put too fine a point on it, a [13. amphibian]. He has made [14. adverb] [15. adjective] advances to me. My Aunt [16. woman’s name] is of no assistance in [17. gerund] my virtue. [18. Day of week] last I overheard her bargaining with the [19. male profession] to sell my person to him for the sum of [20. paltry number] pounds.

I beg of you,

Assist me ere it is too late.

Yours ever so [21. adverb]

[22. Heroine’s name].

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Carolyn’s Result (with her son’s assistance]

My dear Lord Stonehamstone

I write to you of a charitable event that has resulted in it being necessary to donate myself at your nostril and beg for assistance. Not money. I would never importune you in such an obese fashion. But I am but eighty-two and unmarried. My father’s death this past June in a sofa accident has left me an orphan. In going through his quill pens I have discovered that your nice person is my guardian. My uncle Merlin has told me I must marry his eldest son Harold, who is, not to put too fine a point on it, a newt. He has made colorfully robotic advances to me. My Aunt Sally is of no assistance in sqwaking my virtue. Monday last I overheard her bargaining with the groom to sell my person to him for the sum of six pounds.